Heather Mason (
foolishwren) wrote2014-11-28 12:46 am
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119. [FOURTH WALL! ACTION FOR ERRYBODY]
[It's begun.]
[THAT TIME OF YEAR.]
[No, not the time of year when the Christmas decorations start going up in stores-- let's be real, guys, that happened like two months ago.]
[No.]
[It's that time of year when the boundaries between worlds grow thin and all kinds of wild and wonderful things come pouring out of thin air onto the streets for all to watch and enjoy.]
[... And then on the other end of the spectrum, there's...]
WHOA! HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK! MORE NEW POKEMON!!!
[The shout of an excited Ace Trainer dudebro who never quite got off the September Swarm hype train rings out over the chaos as a small army of... uh... things come bumbling down the sidewalk, ineffectively squawking and bumping into peoples' legs.]
OH! Oh, they're ADORABLE! LOOK! I'm keeping one RIGHT NOW!
[A Poke-Fan sweeps one off of its tiny nub feet and cradles it like an infant while it flops and kicks.]
[A crowd soon forms.]
[No one pays any attention to the trainer hopping up and down at the edge, waving her arms.]

Guys-- GUYS!! STOP!
THOSE AREN'T-- THOSE AREN'T POKEMON, YOU GUYS.
DON'T TRY TO CA-- unbelievable.
[THAT TIME OF YEAR.]
[No, not the time of year when the Christmas decorations start going up in stores-- let's be real, guys, that happened like two months ago.]
[No.]
[It's that time of year when the boundaries between worlds grow thin and all kinds of wild and wonderful things come pouring out of thin air onto the streets for all to watch and enjoy.]
[... And then on the other end of the spectrum, there's...]
WHOA! HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK! MORE NEW POKEMON!!!
[The shout of an excited Ace Trainer dudebro who never quite got off the September Swarm hype train rings out over the chaos as a small army of... uh... things come bumbling down the sidewalk, ineffectively squawking and bumping into peoples' legs.]
OH! Oh, they're ADORABLE! LOOK! I'm keeping one RIGHT NOW!
[A Poke-Fan sweeps one off of its tiny nub feet and cradles it like an infant while it flops and kicks.]
[A crowd soon forms.]
[No one pays any attention to the trainer hopping up and down at the edge, waving her arms.]

Guys-- GUYS!! STOP!
THOSE AREN'T-- THOSE AREN'T POKEMON, YOU GUYS.
DON'T TRY TO CA-- unbelievable.
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[aw he gets a CHAINSAW?!]
[She wishes SHE'D gotten a chainsaw in Silent Hill!]
[But needless to say, his timely arrival is more than appreciated. She doesn't know if he'll remember her. But he obviously remembers what to do with monsters. And she's more than happy to join in.]
[Snatching up the convenient Steel Pipe (!) that appeared within arm's reach, she goes in swinging.]
RAAAAAAAAAAUUGHGHHH!
[And witnessing the carnage are several dozen gaping, horrified Pokemon trainers.]
[Good job, you guys.]
[You win at E-rated games about befriending colorful monsters.]
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[ Well, okay, there's a lot of things...like pillows! ]
[ It's the gasp that brings him back from wherever he went. Blood and lumpy bits of numb bodies pained across his face, jacket, and the rest of his body like a Jackson Pollock painting. Viscera hangs from the chainsaw's teeth like ragged strips of cloth. Oh yes, what carnage it was. But there's a swelling sense of pride at a job well done. He turns to Heather and grins. ]
Looks like I got here just in time. It's- uh...Heather right?
[ He hasn't acknowledged the other, shrieking people around them yet. After what he's been through—is still going through, he's almost sure they're not even real. ]
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[Heather actually grins right back. SHE GETS IT. There's a thrill in justified violence. ... Not that these creatures were really... uh, hurting anybody at the time, but...]
[MONSTERS! VIOLENCE! PLANKS WITH NAILS IN! Let's move on.]
Well, I would've taken care of 'em myself, but... yeah. That's me. Thanks for the help.
[... And that's when she notices the gaping, horrified stares.]
Aw, what're you all lookin' at? Beat it!
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[ He picks a strand of nasty off of a tooth of the chainsaw and just kind of...rubs his hand on his pants. Let's be honest here, the guy looked like a serial killer before the slaughter of the
numbbodies. ]no subject
These ones are mine.
Unfortunately.
[The crowd starts to disperse, some in tears. Fortunately, there's no Jennies around to try and arrest the two Silent Hill survivors for their HEINOUS ACTS. They're a little too busy trying in vain to control all the OTHER chaos breaking out across the region.]
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[ In retrospect, he doesn't remember them putting up any kind of fight. No acid or even little flaily arms to hit back. He'd feel bad....if they weren't monsters. ]
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Mostly they just jump atcha. Try and knock you down.
These ones were small, but the bigger ones... they pack one hell of a wallop.