foolishwren | 126. [Video, action for anywhere in Goldenrod] (backdated to January 29th)

Current Location: Anywhere in Goldenrod City

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126. [Video, action for anywhere in Goldenrod] (backdated to January 29th)

_{[She'd been lucky enough to be spared the effects of the past three weeks. BUT SHE'S NOT SO LUCKY THIS TIME.]

[The video opens on her already walking hurriedly down a surburban Goldenrod street towards the downtown area. IF SHE JUST KEEPS MOVING, MAYBE SHE WON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANYBODY ELSE TODAY.]

[But just in case, she's hoping she can stave off karma catching up with her by making a quick confession to the network.]}

HEY.

So anyone who was here like a year ago and wondered about the weird black eye I had that one time?

I lied.

I didn't get it in a fight with a dude 'the size of Kentucky' like I claimed.

Actually, I just walked into a glass door because I was thinking about how much I wanted a Pumpka-spice latte from Sawsbucks and I was too embarrassed to tell anybody.

_{[The camera then turns abruptly to the sky.]}

THERE! You happy, weird Pokemon gods? I said something embarrassing! Now leave me alone!

_{[The video ends.]

[Spoiler alert: she is not going to be left alone.]}

[ooc: For action threads, feel free to tag in with your character ANYWHERE AROUND THE CITY.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Do you really think that's going to make a difference?

_{[NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT YOU!!! NOT TODAY!!]}

NO, but god dammit, I can try!!

_{[She breaks into a run.]

[YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, GAY THOUGHTS!]}

I'd think the better course of action would be to lock yourself away from your 'gear and other people.

Not that I'm taking my own advice, but the point stands.

_{[She keeps running.]}

I don't care what random people on the network think about me!

I care about what you guys think of me!!

_{[It jumps out of her mouth before she can even stop herself-- oh no it's already happening. But at least she hadn't said anything about Lust specifically-- over it or not, she still does not want her friend to find out about the big fat crush Heather had been hiding for the better part of a year.]

[But on the other hand, yeah, Lust is hardly the only person in the house about whom Heather has sensitive feelings that she doesn't want getting exposed.]

[A certain dysfunctional, green-haired fellow comes to mind.]}

Oh for god's sake, do you really think there's anything you could say at this point that would make such a difference? It's hardly as though we have terribly high standards for behavior in the first place.

_{[The run escalates to a sprint.]}

YES!

A LOT!

_{[And then-- oh no. Oh no. SHE CAN FEEL IT COMING.]

[The screen goes black briefly as she smothers it against her collar to somewhat spare Lust the sound of her abruptly screaming loudly into the cold January air.]

[Because it's the only thing she could think of to do to stop the traitorous words from coming out of her mouth.]}

Dear lord, Heather! What is the matter with you? Unless you're skinning baby Pokemon for your jollies or serving them to us as stew, you really don't have to worry about opinions. Remember who - and what - you're speaking to.

Besides. We're friends.

_{[A LOT. A LOT IS THE MATTER WITH HER.]

[She finally slows to a jog, then a halt, wheezing with one hand on her knee and the other holding the 'Gear back out in front of her. She looks helplessly at it, noting that Lust has made the conversation private. It's a nice gesture. At least now if it DOES come out, only Lust and Envy will know about it. Instead of the entire world.]}

... Yeah, I know.

I just-- it's complicated and I don't wanna make things weird. It doesn't even matter anymore, I just-- don't wanna say it.

_{[She grits her teeth, fighting the urge to just scream again.]

[Instead, what comes out is--]}

--You're REALLY PRETTY, okay?!

Like-- prettier than anybody else!

_{[THE PRETTIEST.]}

--except Envy. I GUESS.

You're both really pretty.

GOD DAMMIT.

Heather.

[Lust's voice is extremely patient.]

I'm a mind wiped, emotionally crippled, reanimated corpse that has engaged in countless crimes against humanity, and am common-law married to my dead fiance slash father's terrorist brother. I can't imagine a single thing that could possibly make anything more complicated.

[Well. That was far, far more honest than she'd expected, even with this strange inability to keep her thoughts private. But she can't imagine it's much more than Heather already knows. It's just never laid out so bluntly.]

[For good reason.]

....certainly not that. Of course we're pretty. We're inhumanly beautiful.

Of course mine's natural.

_{[... Well, yeah, Heather knew all that already... but it's true. Having it all laid out in one place is jarring just because most of it she's only heard bit by bit.]

[Although really, she can't imagine her own considerable history of sheer what-the-fuckery sounding any better when laid out like that.]

[Still, she swallows hard at Lust's response to the VERY VAGUE confession, face starting to redden. THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE MEANT, LUST.]}

I-- I know that!

I-- I mean--

_{[Even the ridiculous removal of brain-to-mouth barriers can't do much when she can't figure out the words even in her own head.]

[So she abruptly thumps her back against the fence running along the sidewalk and slides down into a sitting position, face partially disappearing into the scarf she's wearing.]}

--I don't-- I never used to notice.

But-- I mean--

--you're not even-- to begin with, and it's a moot point because you're with-- I mean, I'm not even--anymore, that's water under the BRIDGE, and ENVY, I mean, we've been friends for literally years, and he just--

I'm not used to noticing, okay?!

--I think I might be about to pass out. Hang on.

_{[And then she LIES DOWN ON THE SIDEWALK.]}

....are you ill? It's perfectly normal to notice. It's biological. Even I notice it and I share my bed with the absolute peak of male physical perfection.

But that doesn't mean I don't notice that Greed's also a very handsome man.

He's very good at kissing.

Yes.

_{[Because you know what, this fucking counts as an illness. She really wishes she could go back to not being acutely aware of how pretty girls are and also to not having a big crush on her current best friend who is literally still recovering from the loss of what might as well have been his husband.]

[When Lust goes on to describe both Scar AND Greed, Heather just. Goes even redder.]}

See, that's exactly my problem.

... Among lots of other problems.

But that's a big one.

Lust, do you think-- I mean, if you were real good friends with somebody-- but they were way uglier than all your other friends, and also kind of a MESS, and-- I actually don't know where I was going with this. Um.

I don't even know which one I'm talking about.

Um.

It's not you.

... I don't think it's you.

God, I suck at this! Shit! Fuck.

_{[She lets her head thump lightly against the pavement, looking hopelessly lost.]}

You only like guys, right?

That's all you like.

Is guys.

Envy said he liked both but with you, it's only guys.

Right?

....who are you even talking about, we don't have any ugly friends...

[Lust is honestly flummoxed. She doesn't even understand what Heather's asking her. Of course she really doesn't have female friends, beyond Heather. Acquaintances she's friendly with, but....]

I...don't think I have a preference by gender...? I don't know, I've never known women socially until this last year. Though I suppose, technically, I've never known anyone socially before this last year.

_{[This is honestly getting more embarrassing by the minute. THIS IS WHY SHE LEFT THE HOUSE. But she can't get out of this conversation now.]}

I didn't say ugly, just-- uglier. It's-- argh, that part really doesn't-- matter I guess.

But I mean-- have you-- you haven't ever seen a girl that you think is really-- right? Like more than just appreciating the aesthetic, I mean really...

_{[And then she stops right THERE, gnawing on her lip.]

[SHE CAN'T KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS. It's gonna come out, and somehow the thought of saying it outright and having Lust give her that same baffled stare that she's wearing right now in response to all the total nonsense coming out of Heather's mouth is unbearable.]}

--I-- it's-- it's really not important, I just-- I've been dealing with some shit, Lust.

And-- and I don't even know how to think about it, much less say it.

Oh.

[It finally clicks for Lust.]

That manner of affection. I...don't know, I've never thought about it.

[Why would she? Her entire existence has so long revolved around her appeal to men. For most of her life she was under the belief she existed for that purpose. Her own wants and needs are things she's only just begun to discover. And they've always been very specifically focused.]

[Even before coming here, there had only ever been one.]

Honestly, I think I just like Scar.

_{[The sheer simplicity of that statement almost makes Heather want to laugh. It's not an upsetting one, because hell, it's nothing new or dream-shattering. That's been the case all along, even when she was REALLY in the throes of a crush.]}

--well, I know that.

I just mean...

_{[She heaves a sigh.]}

I barely know what I mean. Why are you even still talking to me?

_{[This kind of self-deprecating garbage rarely comes out of her mouth under normal circumstances, but today is an obvious exception.]}

I think you'd have more luck getting a cohesive conversation out of Guttle.

Yes, but I mean it in response to your query. It's not a matter of gender or anything else, I've only ever wanted Scar. I've never had those particular stirrings for anyone else, even other handsome men.

And you're my friend, and clearly in distress over something you've no reason to be distressed over.

_{[There's a long pause and Heather just kind of... looks off-screen for awhile.]}

... I'm glad that you're my friend.

I don't know if I ever actually said that before, but...

I'm real glad.

_{[There. That's at least ONE thing she knows she won't regret saying. And it comes out straight, not in tangles of words like everything else has been.]}

I didn't have very many female friends before now, either.

... I mean, a few... but not many.

I'm thankful for your friendship.

Especially in the beginning. I...didn't know quite how to have friendly relationships.

_{[Her eyes slide back over to the camera at that, and for the first time in this entire distressing exchange, one side of her mouth quirks up a little.]}

... Well... you might not have been the most approachable person, but... you're a couple hundred steps above the friends I had back where I come from, so... you're not doing too bad, all things considered.

That doesn't say much for your former friends.

I've only ever been approachable to a certain sort of man. It's what I was raised for. There were never any women, just our master and the bitch.

Well, my first best friend murdered my father and tried to force me to--

_{[She'd started say it almost casually-- it just slipped right out without her meaning it to. But then, as though realizing what had happened, she clapped her hands over her mouth.]

[Because if there's one thing that's somehow even WORSE than admitting to Lust that the other woman had been the catalyst for some kind of... sexual awakening or WHATEVER the fuck you'd call it, it's what Claudia had been trying to do to her.]

[When she speaks again, her voice is muffled and hurried.]}

--I'm sorry, forget that.

YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.

That's what I was trying to say.

And I threw your master off a cliff last year in one of those shared dreams. Just thought I'd let you know. I hate her.

That hardly sounds very friendly.

It's fine, I have a dark past of my own.

Would that it weren't a dream. I hope she's suffering in hell.

I haven't told much of anyone about my dark shit. Envy knows the most.

... Out of anyone here now, I mean.

There were other people.

But they've all been gone for a long time.

_{[The words are coming a little easier now, as if she's just given up trying to keep them back. She HASN'T, but maybe if she follows each train of thought to its end and DOESN'T THINK about the ones she REALLY doesn't want to get out of the station, she can avoid it.]

[She won't meet Lust's eyes, still.]}

If I could've followed her down and PERSONALLY dropped her on Satan's lap, I would have.

But the dream ended right after I threw her.

I... kind of freaked Envy out. He kinda looked like he wanted to puke.

We all have those parts that we keep mostly to ourselves. I've gone through the same. I've opened myself to a handful of people, but most have returned to where they came from.

Our master...stirs many emotions. None of them pleasant.

126. [Video, action for anywhere in Goldenrod] (backdated to January 29th)

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