foolishwren | 79. [Video/Action] Backdated to the morning of October 1st!

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79. [Video/Action] Backdated to the morning of October 1st!

_{[So what's the best thing for someone who's been spending their time alternately fretting and pretending not to be fretting over circumstances well beyond their control?]

[A) More fretting
B) Meditation
C) A DISTRACTION]

[If anyone answered anything other than C, they're either very silly, or Cooper.]

[Heather is neither (.... okay, maybe she's the former quite often), so needless to say... when the posters for the Johto-wide fighting tournament going on in Goldenrod City hit the streets, they were the first thing to catch her eye. In fact, anyone spending any amount of time with her in person has probably noticed the way she's been stopping in the middle of whatever she was doing every single time she passes one of the damn things to look at it contemplatively, with a cocked head and a sort of half-wistful, half-devilish look in her eye.]

[As such, nobody whatsoever should be surprised when she pops up on the network on the day of signups ending with one of the flyers in hand. She'd been waffling on account of the fact that her father was sure do disapprove, but... man, she's been spoiling for something like this for months, and she's got... more than a little steam to blow off. Steam that isn't always so easy to blow off in a world where society expects you to resolve all your conflicts by letting animals do your fighting for you.]}

YO Johto, what's the happs?

_{[She grins broadly and then flourishes the poster at the screen.]}

Guys. Guys. Look.

Look at this.

Best thing ever, or BEST thing ever?

Who else's gonna sign up?

I'M gonna. ... Assuming the puppy-eyes work on Dad, I guess. They're a little rusty but I was once the puppy-eyes champion so I should be okay. And for anybody weirded out by the surreal idea of ME doing puppy-eyes, ask yourselves this: how ELSE could I have gotten away with all the crazy crap you totally know I got up to as a kid?

_{[A sly, knowing nod.]}

Yeah, makes more sense now, doesn't it.

ANYWAY.

_{[Another flourish of the poster.]}

So if any of you are planning on being in this thing, gimme a shout! I wanna size up the competition and stuff. ... And also, transportation? I'm in Ecruteak, so... if anyone's in the area, I guess we could carpool, or something? _{[She's not opposed to the idea of leaping on a strange Pidgeot if she HAS TO, buuuuut...]} I mean, the Tournament isn't supposed to LAST too long, so I'm guessin' we'd all only be gone for like... what, a week or two at most? Then I'd be headed back to Ecruteak because seriously, nice place.

Anyway... _{[She trails off, eyes flicking off to the side of the screen.]} I'd better go convince Dad that I won't die if I do this. _{[Eyes back to the screen, she gives a somber, soldier-like nod and salutes solemnly.]} Wish me luck, my people.

_{[BOOP. End feed.]

[TIME TO GO FIND DAD.]}

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_{[HEATHER IS LIKE... THE DEATHMASTER.]

[She's never had a funeral, though. Sounds depressing.]}

Psh, what could a bag of ol' bones like you do to me, anyhow?

I've pulled a man's tongue out before. Do you know where you'd be without a tongue, Miss Mason?

Sad.

Because you can't make puns without a tongue.

_{[WHAT NOW?]}

I'd find a way.

Written puns are even MORE painful than verbal ones, don't you know?

No, they're not.

The Mayor--back home that is-- thinks it's cute to write little puns on memos because he thinks it makes things 'stick'. It's groan-worthy but nothing compared to the sins you've committed against people with ears.

You haven't seen MY written puns.

You'll change your mind in seconds.

Alright. Have at me, brother.

_{[JACK, DAMN IT, STOP TRYING TO USE MEMES. YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THE INTERNET. JUST. JUST GO BACK TO HALLOWEEN TOWN.]}

.... What?

_{[JACK. JUST.... JUST DON'T.]}

Get with the times, Heather. Show me one of these horrible written puns of yours.

_{[... SHE'S JUST GOING TO PRETEND SHE DIDN'T HEAR HIM BUTCHER THAT INTERNET MEME.]}

Dude, no way.

I have to save them for when you rip my tongue out.

Alright, then. It's a deal. If we meet on the battlefield, I'll rip your tongue out and then you can become the stuff of legends as you carry around your pad and pen. Women will tell their children about you and lock their doors at night.

_{[He pauses and strokes his chin, obviously really into this idea suddenly.]}

We'll have to come up with a proper Terror name for you.

...I've got it.

The punnisher.

_{[Do you see that shit-eating grin, Heather? DO YOU SEE IT?]}

.... You are a horrible person and you're gonna go to hell someday.

_{[... But she can't deny the fact that she is absolutely giggling over that horrible pun right now even though she REALLY SHOULD NOT BE.]}

Save me a seat?

_{[SHE WAS WORSE THAN HE WAS.]}

No, you'll have to stand.

I guess that's the part that makes it Hell.

That, and all the drinking water is lukewarm and tastes like asparagus.

But asparagus is good for you!

_{[Heather proceeds to make a face and a noise that indicates exactly what she thinks of asparagus.]}

Oh, bleeghhh yourself! Don't you want to grow up to be big and strong like me?

What, grow up into a SKELETON?

Yeah, I definitely wanna do that.

_{[.... uh oh wait a sec she never actually told him she's known who he was, did she...?]}

_{[Jack laughs at that---_]}

_{-- and then stops abruptly.]

[Wait.]

[Had he told her was a skeleton? He's told a few people, but he's been so scatterbrained as of late.]

[Well this is awkward.]}

_{[... Wait, why is he loo-- .... oh.]

[... Fuck.]}

.... Y'know, 'cause you're all.... skeletal!

And stuff.

_{[Whoops. This is not one of her better cover-ups.]}

_{[Jack tilts his head down a little so he can look over his glasses at her. They'd discussed his death before a number of times, but that sounded AWFULLY SPECIFIC THERE, MISS MASON.]}

I suppose the years have been a little rough on me.

_{[DON'T MIND HIM, HEATHER, HE'S JUST GOING TO KEEP STARING AT YOU.]}

_{[oh god Jack don't do the old man stare, c'mon]}

Well, you ARE pretty old.

... What's with the look?

_{[This is Heather playing dumb.]}

_{[HE'S STARIN'. You've gone and made JACK SKELLINGTON curious and there is no hope for you.]}

I'm not looking a look. You're looking a look.

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