It ain't so much that I don't get sarcasm, it's just that that sorta shit ain't too far remowed from some of the hilariously absurd shit people I'm unfortunately acquainted with would beliewe. So...

[Eridan's hardly as bothered, really, this is all run of the mill for his sort of conversations. Actually pretty mild in comparison. It's almost weird with how little vitriol is being spewed between them.]

I wasn't bein' serious, but look, if you're fuckin' scared and you let your fear gowern your actions, you're gonna get thrown off. Find some confidence in what you're doin' and hold the fuck on. Don't let your hoofbeast take control--be assertiwe, or you'll find your ass bein' handed to you. And laughed at, really.

I'm sure a girl like you can figure out how to feign some confidence ewen in the face a somethin' scary.

[Of course the emphasis there is every bit condescending in tone.]