foolishwren | 89. [Video/Action for travel group]

Current Location: Route 38

Entry tags:

89. [Video/Action for travel group]

_{[A short while after the singing wild Pokemon and egg presents had died down, a rather unfortunate discovery was made upon dialing a number she'd been meaning to dial ever since Claudia Wolf and Kaito Kuroba had disappeared from Johto.]

[Already on the road, the weather's mild enough (even with the wind picking up) that Heather decided that was pretty much a good time to pocket her Valentine's Day present and just head off for a walk. Because lord knows, she needs one.]

[It's not the first time Johto has given everyone the gift of a precious little egg, but it is the first time that Heather's found herself resenting it.]

[The video feed pops on, focused in on a tiny, pale yellow little egg hardly bigger than a chicken's, nestled in the palm of Heather's hand as dry grass goes past underfoot.]}

It would be so easy to just... crush it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... And that would accomplish what?

Nothing, I guess.

Except maybe making me feel better.

_{[No. No it wouldn't. And she knows it. But...]}

At the expense of a life.

So?

_{[The word is awful but the way her voice cracks is pretty indicative that she doesn't view it with nearly as much cruelty as she'd LIKE to SOUND right now.]}

I'm sick of... of having things taken away only for them to be... to be REPLACED by...

I don't want it!

I want them. I want my friends back.

Not... not THIS stupid thing!

_{[She brandishes the egg almost like she's going to hurl it to the ground, but hesitates every time she comes close.]}

And that is the egg's fault, how? The creature's fault? Did it take your friends from you? Did it ask to be a replacement?

[He snorts, as if in answer to his own question.]

You want your friends.

I want my life. [He pauses, there. He realizes he's ranting at her. But this is An Issue for him. It has been ever since he took up the fight.] Slaughtering innocents in fits of rage gets neither of us anything we want. It accomplishes nothing.

You hate it? Give it here. Do not be a fool -- you are smarter than that.

_{[He always makes so much sense when these sorts of things come up.]

[And Heather knows that. Everything he's saying is true.]

[It's just-- ... she's just so angry.]}

I...

I just...

NOTHING accomplishes anything!

Nothing we DO or... or SAY will stop this place from taking everything AWAY whenever it WANTS!

I'm so SICK of being helpless!

_{[His remark about wanting his life back had stung a bit... it makes what she's angry about seem so small in comparison. It's enough to make her feel guilty. But...]}

If nothing accomplishes anything... then what is smashing the egg going to do, hmn? What is killing the creature going to do?

[He holds back from raising his voice. Barely. There's heat in it, anger, sure. But he restrains it.]

You are not helpless in this. You make the choice. Murder that creature. Or leave it be. This place cannot make that choice. You want power, kid? You want a say in these things? You have it.

And you are not so stupid as to abuse it.

_{[Honestly, she sort of needs to be yelled at, at least in spirit. Even WANTS it. Just anything that she can snarl back at until the hot reservoir of hurt that's built up inside her gets siphoned off a little. Maybe once she's done, she'll be too TIRED to do anything to the egg.]}

What the hell say do I have?

Everyone gets taken away, no matter WHAT any of us do!

What's the use of having the power to go along and weather things if they never get better?

And how do you even know I'm not?! Before I came here, I did all kinds of things! BAD things! It wouldn't-- it wouldn't be any different!

_{[Except that it would.]}

Right now, you have a say in whether or not you take an innocent life in a fit of rage. You have a say in whether or not that creature comes out intact, or whether you live with its fluid on your hands.

[It's just an animal. But that's not really the point anymore. Maybe it never was.]

You fought monsters. I saw it. Remember? [His lip curls, slightly.] There is a world of difference between destroying something that wants you dead, and smashing an egg because you dislike what the world has handed you. Between a soldier... a survivor...

[His voice goes cold.]

... and one of those monsters. You wanted a say. Now you have it.

Which are you, kid?

_{[For a guy who claims not to be eloquent, his words sure do pierce to the core sometimes.]

[She stares back at the screen for a moment, challengingly, as she tries to summon up words to fight with. But... in the same way that it's sort of hard to argue a side you don't agree with in a debate class, she can't... come up with anything of substance to say in return. Because it's true, what he's saying. She believes it's true.]

[Biting her lip, the anger doesn't fade but it shifts direction a little. To its real target, which sure as hell isn't the egg, or the man on the other side of the screen.]}

... I think I've been a monster since before I was even born.

[Eloquence is... different, in his perspective. He's just speaking his mind. He's had millennia to sort it all out. To form these opinions.]

[He stares back at her, not wavering. As he's had millennia to form his opinions... they've had the same amount of time to sink into his core. He believes what he's saying, and it shows on his face.]

[Part of him wouldn't mind if she got angry at him. He's a target better suited to dealing with it than some hapless egg. What she says, though... he outright scoffs.]

I know monsters.

I see no monster here. See a kid... tired, angry kid, but still. Just a kid.

_{[At first, it almost looks like she's just ... not saying anything. Just staring downwards with an unreadable expression that doesn't quite look angry OR sad, but somewhere in between.]

[... Then one bulbous tear goes rolling down her cheek. She swipes at it immediately, but two replace it on the other side. Within a few seconds, she's just lifted her arm to smash against her face, with the bridge of her nose nestled into the crook of her elbow, but her teeth are visible in a tight grimace below that.]}

--Th-- I'm not-- you don't nuh-know w-w-what I do about me--!

[He doesn't say anything when she starts crying. He doesn't comment on it at all. He figures she wouldn't want that.]

I know enough.

_{[Yeah... she appreciates that, old man.]

[She lifts her face after a second or two, scrubbing it somewhat dry on her sleeve. She doesn't want to spend the whole conversation blubbering. CAN'T.]

[But her voice is croaky all the same.]}

... You only saw a little.

[He'll wait. He'll wait as long as she needs, patient. This isn't something to rush, or pressure.]

[For all his bluster, all his crank and anger, he's been dealing with kids for a long time.]

Saw enough to know if you really wanted to kill that creature... you would have done it without the camera recording.

No one would have been able to stop you, then.

_{[He has her number. Pretty thoroughly in fact.]

[She knows there's no point in arguing that fact. Even if he HADN'T seen the true extent to which Silent Hill still had its claws in her, he'd seen more than most... And the snarls of 'WELL YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BEFORE COMING HERE' won't work on someone who DID. ... If they even worked on anybody else.]}

... I don't know what I want.

I tried just taking it all out on a punching bag already.

It only worked for a little while.

Now I don't-- .... I don't know what to do.

_{[In the very peak of her anger, taking it out on Johto's latest 'gift' had seemed like the only thing left that she hadn't tried.]}

Keep going.

[That's it. That's all the advice he has for her. Because... that's all he knows how to do.]

[In the face of war, the face of loss, and even his own death... just keep going. He'd had to. They'd all had to. And it's with all those things in mind that he says the words. It's not flippant, not nonchalant.]

[It's just shy of an order.]

Just... keep going. Soldier on, as your kind says.

_{[Underneath it all, she knows that's what's going to happen. She doesn't give up. Never has. No matter what's come her way, she's always kept going. Even when she was sure she was going to die.]

[But right now... just at this moment in time...]}

... It's just that that's what I've been doing for so long.

I've been here almost two years...

So many people who I knew before are gone. And every single time, I've kept going.

I just feel so tired.

I'm so tired, Ironhide.

_{[She knows she's got little to no place to be saying something like that to him. Maybe that's why she's saying it, because it's stupid in comparison. But after losing three people at once... Claudia...]}

[He could lie to her. He could say something profound or try and make a big, supportive speech. But he's not good at that. So he opts for honesty. The words might be harsh, but... he does his best to keep his tone even.]

Nothing is going to change that.

No leaking, or shouting... no matter how many times you fight back. Always going to come out tired. Run down. Battle... is exhausting. Anyone who says different is a liar or a fool.

[He pauses, there, to gather his thoughts. He doesn't usually monologue like this. That's... That was always Optimus' job.]

We either give in to the weariness, let it overcome us, and shut down. Or... we stand, we gather our forces, our allies, and fight. Long as we have to -- to survive.

[He uses that word on purpose -- he'd called her a survivor before. No harm in trying to emphasize it.]

_{[In the end, she doesn't want to be lied to.]

[She's already been lying to herself far too much to need any more of it from anyone else.]

[She listens in perfect silence, and it's obvious by the expression on her face that what she's hearing isn't making her any happier. But then, nothing would at this point. And while there's not happiness on her face, there is a resigned understanding.]}

... Suffering's a part of life. We either learn to deal with it, or we go under.

_{[Her voice is oddly hollow, like she's reciting a line that she knows by heart.]}

Look at that.

[He tilts his head at her, as if trying to gauge her reaction by what he sees alone.]

Something else you can control. Even here. You can decide whether or not to go under.

[He means it as a reassurance. It's about as reassuring as he can think to get. He doesn't know what's happened. Not exactly. But... she has a choice to make. All he can really do is point her at it, prove her wrong for the better.]

_{[She swipes an arm across her face with a snuffle before looking up at him for the first time in awhile.]}

... I just don't want to climb up and keep getting knocked back down into the water.

What happens when we're too tired to keep our heads above the surface?

That is why you have allies. Why you do not travel, why I did not fight, alone.

[If he notices the phrasing he put on that, he doesn't act like it.]

[He just looks at her -- not trying to look wise or impressive. Honestly, he just looks old. Tired.]

[Like always, if you know how to look.]

Always have backup, kid.

_{[Heather pauses to think about that.]

[Although she's used to being a lone wolf, she's never truly been alone... not since she had been Alessa. She'd always had someone after that. Even after her father had died, she'd at least had Douglas. And although she'd traveled by herself for quite a long time in Johto, she'd still had friends.]

[She's not sure she can go back to being totally alone. In fact, she's not even sure how she'd done it, back then. Back when all she'd had was the hospital bed and distant dreams of what Cheryl was doing, miles and miles away.]}

... What happens when we run out of backup?

_{[What happens when everyone goes away and you're the only one left?]

[It sounds like an exaggeration, sure, but... Heather knows how easily it can happen. How easily it COULD have happened. If Douglas had died in Silent Hill that night, for example...]

[Just as he's not trying to look like anything but what he is, for once Heather's not putting on any airs, either. She just looks like a kid. A really scared, desperate kid who's lost a lot and is afraid she's going to lose everything else, too.]

[Most of that has to do with what they're talking about, but there's something else. She hasn't even totally noticed it yet, but the way he said 'did not'...]}

[He doesn't answer for a while, clearly taking his time to think this over. The last thing he wants to do right now is say the wrong thing, and send all this progress sliding backward.]

[Which... Ironhide sort of believes he's capable of doing.]

[And, once again, he opts to be honest with her. He doesn't have the answers she's looking for. Maybe he never will. Maybe no one will.]

When I figure that out... I will let you know.

[It's a simple statement, but the weight of the words, the heaviness in his voice, makes them almost sound like a promise.]

Have a habit of being difficult to get rid of. I ever tell you that?

[I'll be here, kid.]

[It's unsaid. But he doesn't believe it needs to be spoken aloud. Some things don't.]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video] H-HAS IRONHIDE TOLD HER THAT HE DIED BACK HOME YET? I-I forget. ;-;

[Video] n-nope

[Video] OKAY SHE WILL ASK ABOUT THAT LATER THEN

[Video] s-sob

[Video] this thread hurts my heart ;-;

[Video] oh no ;o;

[Video] apologies for the waterworks but man that got to her. XD

[Video] it's okay :(

[Video] ;-; <3

[Video] <3

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rz5KZWNFR0 /puts this here