foolishwren | 034. [Video]

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Location: Camp Otacon

034. [Video]

_{[It's a little before sun-up-- that weird hour of the morning where the sky is still dark but just starting to brighten in a thin, pale line at the horizon. Of course, where Heather was, that horizon was hidden by the trees, so it's... still mostly dark.]

[She's sitting up in her sleeping bag with a couple of blankets around her shoulders, next to the camp's fire, which had mostly burnt down to ash speckled with a few tiny, stubborn embers. They stood out against the general grayness of the clearing 'Camp Otacon' resided in. Said grayness was only emphasized by the layers of frost coating the earth and grass. It was well into October now, so... unsurprisingly, the weather had been getting colder.]

[Heather was not sure she liked this, though thankfully she's in possession of a living heater in the form of a now-distinctly-potbellied dog (Camp Otacon had been treating him well. Especially because though she'd never admit to being such a softie, she'd been giving him more treats than normal out of pure guilt over the whole 'I thought you were a double-head and also I was kind of a jerk to you in general anyway' thing), who was curled behind her and serving as a backrest.]}

So hey, guys. I have a question.

_{[Her words were accompanied by puffs of steam from her breath. It's c-c-cold this morning without the sunlight.]}

What happens when our warrants expire?

_{[A couple of people had asked her this before, but she'd never had too specific an answer to give them.]}

I heard we're like... basically off with a smack on the wrist and not much else, but... _{[She pauses, sucking her lips inward a little and fiddling with that stubborn eye-bandage. She's gotta be able to get rid of that thing soon, right?]} ... That seems pretty lenient for a bunch of "dangerous fugitives". _{[She's quoting Officer Jenny directly from that announcement, and there's suspicion in her tone. SCREW THE COPS, THEY'RE NEVER HONEST, RIGHT? THIS HAS TO BE A TRICK.]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Arty has one less syllable. It's more efficient.

And what can I say, your scintillating wit slays me.

Efficiency doesn't disguise the fact that that isn't my name.

Why, you have my thanks. Though your arguement for the efficient use of syllables has been thrown somewhat with your use of the word 'scintillating'.

Saves energy, though. It stays.

And I like the word 'scintillating'. It stays, too.

Yes, because the woman who carried around a IV drip pole for a weekend needs to worry about the energy expenditure of syllables.

Odd, I don't seem to recall allowing you to dictate how I'm addressed. However, your preference for adjectives is your own.

Well, hey, when I'm going on violent rampages, I need to conserve wherever possible.

I could call you Sparky. Would you like that better?

_{[Why 'Sparky'? No idea, it's just an obnoxious name that came to mind.]}

Odd, I somehow can actually picture that as being your common passtime.

I'm sorry, but I'm hinting a rut in finding my connection to that nickname.

Once every night before dinner and twice on Sundays!

You seem to be assuming that the point of giving you nicknames is to connect them to your real name at all.

_{[The point was to be annoying.]}

Arty.

A time consuming hobby, to be sure.

No, just theorizing there would be logic behind them.

[You're just mean, Freckles.]

Artemis.

Yeah. Keeps me fit, though.

_{[Thank you, Captain Obvious.]}

Arty.

_{[NEW GAME. NEW GAME. See how long it takes this kid to start displaying true annoyance over this!]}

[Oh, you really are mean.]

I'm not going to play verbal tennis with you, Heather.

My name is Artemis.

Who's playing?

I'm totally serious.

Arty.

No.

_{[Oh, sonnnn, you're just digging yourself into a deeper pit here. The more you say 'no', the more Heather's gonna do it just the be annoying.]}

Yes.

[Don't call me son, you didn't vomit me into existance.]

Heather, are you aware that your being, as school officials like to label it, 'difficult'?

_{[Thankfully.]

[She pauses to consider this.]}

.... Yes.

[You're determined to give him a tick, aren't you?]

Then cease.

_{[She is a troll, it is her way.]}

What'll ya give me if I stop?

Bribery, you truly are becoming a criminal. A common one at that.

What could you possibly want from me?

I told you, I'm growing a mustache and everything.

And I dunno.

Make an offer.

Money would be pretty cool, I'm totally broke.

_{[Heather stop picking on the snooty sheltered fifteen-year-old, it's not nice. You grew out of taking other kids' lunch money ages ago, stop it.]}

And hide those lovely features?

[Quick boys! RESORT TO SNARKY FLATTERY!]

It's not like you can go into a settlement and purchase anything until the warrant for your arrest is expired.

[It's okay, Artemis blackmails companies for their milk money.]

_{[.... what the fuck was that.]

[Heather arched a brow and tilted her head just so, giving him a look. Wat.]}

Mustaches are lovely.

_{[OK BACK TO THE TOPIC.]}

Well, duh. But the warrant expires tomorrow.

[Yeh! Threw you off there, huh?

Btw, that look isn't very impressive.]

I'm inclined to disagree.

You'd be a terrible salesperson the way you're making this argument for bribery.

_{[YES IT DID THROW HER OFF BECAUSE IT WAS SO RANDOM. Well done, Artemis.]}

Well, I mean, if you don't wanna pay up or anything, that's okay by me, Arty!

I'll just keep on doing my thing.

[It wasn't random! It was plotted! And I have to start with the irritating compliments on appearance somewhere~]

Artemis.

'Your thing' being acting your age of 12 years?

_{[This is true. It'll be awhile before she knows what to make of them, though. She's not used to receiving compliments in arguments.]}

Arty.

And yes, exactly.

_{[IF YOU WOULDN'T KEEP GETTING THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE EVERY TIME SHE DOES IT, SHE'D GET BORED AND STOP. THIS IS YOUR FAULT.]}

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