foolishwren | 001. Video + Audio

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001. Video + Audio

[The video feed pops on and shows... sky. More specifically, sky that's kind of wobbling around at a dizzying level (those who get nauseated easily might want to hold their screens a little further away from their faces until it stops). This is because Heather is lousy at expressing her frustrations in productive ways and she's kind of shaking it around until it works.]

Goddamn thi-- ... oh. HELLO~, it's working.

[The sky finally swings out of view and is replaced by a very, very freckly face and a short mop of bottle-blond hair that looks like its owner just rolled out of bed. Further adding to this impression, Heather's eyes are kind of puffy and tired-looking. Truth is they always look like this, but the stress of this whole situation hasn't exactly helped.]

So yeah, I guess this has like, some sort of internet on it? I guess? Because I've gotten videos from other people popping up on here when I press certain buttons, so, whatever, I guess it's recording or something.

If it's not.... well, then I guess I'll just be this place's equivalent of the crazy guys who walk around talking on imaginary cell phones. And it'll be hilarious.

[The camera's jiggling around a little as she speaks-- she's walking with it.]

Anyway, there's actually a couple of important things I wanna mention here so if you're getting this, don't change the channel just yet.

I noticed a lot of you seem to have a bunch of friends here that you've met up with and are traveling with. That's cool, I'm not like, asking to join your little clubs or anything. But... if any of you see a sort of sad-looking old guy with a beard and a trenchcoat, could you let me know? You'll recognize him because he kind of totally looks like a flasher and he kind of smells like fish.

I'd give a shout-out to him myself, but... well, if he's even here at all, I don't think he'd be able to figure out how to work this thing in the first place. I'm pretty sure he like, doesn't even know how to use a computer back home.

[The camera swings around, showing the backdrop of Route 29]

Yeah. Trees and shit. It's awesome.

I have one of these... monster things, but it's not with me right now, so I won't film it.

It's a dog and I hate dogs, so I put it back in that ball thing because it WON'T. STAY. AWAY FROM ME. For fuckin' serious. I swear, this thing is like, a drool generator. I only got one towel in my backpack, people. how on earth am I supposed to be dealing with the mass amounts of saliva this thing creates?

[There's a pause, she seems to have realized that she's been rambling like whoa and there's probably not even anyone watching anymore.]

... Well. I guess this has gone on longer than I meant it to, so I'll wrap it up.

There's just one last thing I gotta mention, and I'll make it quick.

See, I showed up here in this like... tiny-ass skirt, and the only OTHER thing in my backpack was a pair of equally-tiny-ass shorts, so. I don't have anything against tiny-ass skirts, in fact they're awesome, but I'm kind of a fan of, you know, not getting cuts and bloodsucking... things that live in grass that I hate all over my legs. This outfit isn't exactly great for roaming the great outdoors.

[The camera swings back around to Heather's face again, and she's wearing this super-intense expression. Furrowed brows, fire in the eyes and everything. This chick is serious, you guys.]

So I guess what I'm trying to say is... Battle me. And if I win, give me your pants. Ciao.

[The screen clicks off.]

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My, isn't someone a little desperate.

And what would I get if I won?

If by 'desperate' you mean 'not wanting my legs to look like I massaged them with a cheese grater', sure.

Presumably? Money. I'd offer the tiny-ass orange shorts I found in my backpack but I'm guessing nobody would want those.

_{Unless you do. In which case, you can have 'em. I don't judge.}

Don't even try to offer me those. As for money... perhaps.

Not that a child like you could possibly defeat me. My partner is a creature as powerful as I, the Great Demon of the Winds! Perhaps it would be better for you to find someone else, hmm?

.... Pfffftttptt. Hahaha, okay man, whatever, think what you want. This child's killed plenty of demons before, so don't you fret over little old me.

~~Fffff 'great demon of the winds' I am quaking in my rainboots.~~

You dare mock me? Well, well, you little brat, I'll make you regret ever having met me!

Oh my god.

Someone called me a brat.

Excuse me while I fall to my knees and cry forever.

You are ON, old man.

Then perhaps I should knock you down a few pegs, girl.

I'll wait for you along the path. That way if you want to give up, you could always choose not to come.

Well I sure won't stop you from trying.

I'll be along sooner or later. 'Course, y'know, you could always run off before I get there. I promise I'll just assume you got eaten by a bear or something and that you didn't actually wuss out.

Oh, I'll be waiting. Try not to keep me waiting too long, or I might lose interest.

Can't you just find somewhere that sells normal pants?

Well gosh, why didn't I think of that?

I'll just run over to The Gap and-- oh yeah. Wait. I'm in the middle of the wilderness.

You were saying?

Okay, fair enough. But there's towns around here--unless you're as lost as I seem to be.

Well, I'm en route to the next town but honestly it looks like a long walk, and this grass is killing me. .... um. Well. You know. Not literally. That would be all kinds of lame.

You're lost, huh? Did you get a map?

Uh, let's see...

[Rummaging through the backpack, derp.]

Yeah, I've got one. Problem is, I don't exactly see a 'hey, you're here' marker on it.

I'm pretty good with maps. Maybe I can help you out. [Normally she'd be a bit warier but considering the MASS NUMBERS OF CONFUSED PEOPLE wandering around, she's pretty sure most of them aren't weirdos.]

How far do you think you've gone from that... uh, town... neighborhood thing everyone showed up in?

Well, I started walking to the next town. Everything looks different when it's not all pixelated, and I guess I got a little confused...

I'm not entirely sure how far I've walked, but it couldn't have been too much of a distance.

Hmm. Well, I guess I can't really tell you to look out for landmarks like in a city. I mean, this place would just kind of be like ... 'big tree'. 'Bigger tree'. 'Interesting rock'.

So uh. There's some kinda checkpoint building uphill, not too far from the town. I found that earlier, I've just sorta been chilling out by there and watching people wander past.

Maybe keep an eye out for that if you haven't been walking too long? And mark anything noteworthy on your map, that tends to help in my experience. _{Not that there's a whole lot that's noteworthy...}

Yeah, you're right. Good plan, uh-...

Sorry, I didn't get your name. I'm Hal, Hal Emmerich.

Oh yeah, heh. I guess I didn't introduce myself in that vid.

I'm Heather Mason. Nice to meet-- er, talk to you. I guess we haven't met yet.

Same to you, Heather. We'll probably run into each other sooner or later.

Probably. Good luck out there, huh?

If all else fails, there's probably a lot of people still leaving that first town, so uh... follow the masses if you can find 'em, I guess?

Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm sure someone'll come by if I just hang around here for a bit.

Sweet. If you're still, like, TOTALLY lost after awhile, go ahead and give me a call. If I'm still in the area, I'll try and help.

Okay, thanks a lot, Heather. I'll see you around.

There isn't anything that sucks blood in the grass.

...Not on Route 29, at least.

Look, just because this place has animals that are more brightly-colored than the normal kind doesn't mean there aren't ticks and stuff.

And even if there aren't, I'd rather not take chances and wind up getting some sort of souped-up Lyme Disease.

There are a great deal more differences than color. Still, I can't fault you for wanting to be cautious. But your methods, however....

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was talking to an expert. Forgive me for not bringing up the friggin' taxonomy while I was at it.

Seriously, mister, it's not like I'm telling you to give me YOUR pants. What's with the disapproving tone?

Miles Edgeworth.

And I... Simply think you'd have an easier time getting pants if you asked if anyone had extras to spare or would like a trade rather than challenging the entire network.

... All right then. Miles. I'm Heather Mason.

Well, nobody's bitten so far so maybe you're right. Still, I think I can be forgiven for assuming that fighting might be a good way to get something in a place where the entire culture seems to revolve around making cute little critters battle each other.

It doesn't take long to see why so much emphasis is placed on Pokemon training and battles. The wildlife around here are particularly... aggressive.

Yeah.

I NOTICED.

You know, now that I think about it, most of these trainer clothes aren't really great for being outdoors.

Tell me about it.

It's not that I hate wearing miniskirts or anything, I just don't want to be like, running away from moose and shit in one, you know?

... do they even have moose here?

They probably have something that looks like one!

Yeah... it's probably like, green and shoots lasers or something.

Well, that just proves the point even more. I really don't wanna be wearing a miniskirt while running away from a green laser-shooting moose.

Green and... I wouldn't be surprised!

[Well we all know Heather's pretty experienced with strange creatures, so who knows? She MIGHT JUST BE CORRECT.]

Yeeeeeeeah.

So, uh, on that note, do you have any idea where I can get some pants?

There are some shops in the next town. I'm not sure if they sell pants.

Well, they'd better, because I feel pretty dumb conquering the wilderness in the same kind of clothing I wear to the mall!

What's with these weird costumes they gave us anyway? I hope not everybody's is as impractical as mine.

I think they're different trainer uniforms. Although some of them definitely look a bit...weird.

You're telling me. I talked to a guy not that long ago who was given a clown suit.

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001. Video + Audio

conviniently enough, Vaati can make his own clothes B|b

Re: conviniently enough, Vaati can make his own clothes B|b

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gosh how are we even doing this (also why am I always so late), want to log it .o.?

HAHA SURE OMG THIS WILL SERIOUSLY BE AWESOME (aka I am SO up for it XD. ... Heatherwillprobablylose)

fffffff alright writing log now .o.b DO YOU WANT TO BACKDATE or set it as today so it isn't pouring

Today's fine-- rain would sorta put a DAMPER ON THE BATTLE hahah okthatwasbad. But srsly go for it!

http://community.livejournal.com/route_1065/6715.html .D.b

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