foolishwren | 51. Video

_{[When the feed blinks on, it's snowing.]

[More specifically, it's snowing outside-- the vantage point is high, aiming downwards from the fourth-story window of Heather's hotel room at the street corner below. The snowflakes are thick and fat and have been coming down for awhile.]

[Heather is nowhere to be seen-- looks like she's the one holding the camera. Her voice, however, is clearly recognizable, albeit it's hushed-- and there's a couple of other voices in the background, too..]}

Hit record. Hit record, dammi--

Okay-- okay, shut up, Liquid, I'm filming.

HHEM.

Sup, Johto?

It's just a little past one-thirty in the morning. It's snowing, and we have made a discovery.

_{[Around this point, another voice cuts in-- one belonging to a familiar disapproving scientist.]}

Heather, this really isn't something you should be broadcasting, think of those peop--

THAT DISCOVERY is that a certain street-corner is a one-ingredient recipe for destruction. Please observe.

_{[The camera zooms in on a corner of the sidewalk down below-- it looks innocuous enough, but hey, look at that rich, snooty-looking lady walking down the sidewalk! She's got a fashionable-looking PokeGear pinched between her shoulder and ear, and her arms are full of shopping bags. A live Furret appears to be wrapped around her neck.]

[When Heather speaks, her voice is full of barely-restrained laughter.]}

She has.

No.

Idea.

That her life is about to be changed forever.

_{[The camera follows the woman's progress as she heads down the sidewalk-- and then, as she steps off the curb to cross the street at the corner... her feet go out from under her, her bags fly in the air, and she lands on her back on the ground, sliding gracefully across the street. The Furret, now puffed-up and horrified, trails behind her.]

[Meanwhile, there's a small explosion of muffled laughter from off-screen that continues for the entire period of time that the woman tries-- and continually fails-- to collect her bags and get up.]}

AHAHAHH! Right on her ARSE!

Liquid, don't encourage her--

Ohoho my god, she just keeps falling down!

Heather, that's-- pfffhhah-- AHEM. Heather, that's NOT funny. It's-- pffff

Look-- wait-- I think she's gonna make it-- she's gonna-- ... no she's not.

_{[EVENTUALLY, the woman finally struggles upright and carries on her way huffily-- but the video goes onwards.]

[For those staying on Heather's channel, they will be treated to footage of many individuals-- random teenagers, businessmen, even a traveling Nurse Joy-- all coming face to face with the dreaded Icy Corner and losing the battle in various hilarious, slapstick ways.]

[And then, eventually ... A certain individual of note comes walking down the street. Who could it be? Well, Heather doesn't recognize him (considering the circumstances under which they met), although he'd certainly recognize her if he saw her...]}

_{[The camera zooms in on him, shakily.]}

Oh my god. Oh my god. It's a policeman.

Is he prepared.

HEATHER. Do you have NO respec--

--To meet the Corner of Doom?

You are a sadistic child.

Let's find out.

Wait for it...

_{[The feed's audio is dominated by three hushed voices laughing hysterically before it cuts out.]}

[ooc: Green is Otacon, Orange is Liquid, normal is Heather.]

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Pfff I KNOW, right.

It was so majestic.

[Right, regaining a bit of control here, and now he's feeling a little guilty for laughing at their misfortune]

Shouldn't...someone eventually warn these people about the ice? I mean, that does look pretty painful.

Pfff, they'll figure it out eventually. Anyway, it's too snowy for anyone to really get hurt down there.

It looks like most of them walked away with a few bruises. [Winces as he remembers the last victim's rather dramatic nosedive into the snow]

Is that last man all right?

What? Oh-- yeheah, I think so...

_{[The camera swivels back over to Jerry, who has just... given up. He's lying on his back, looking relatively unharmed, but wearing a FML expression.]}

[Merlin sympathises with him. Really, he does.] You'd think the locals here would know about this sort of thing.

[Studies the screen a bit longer] ...maybe someone ought to...help him up.

Pfft, yeah, maybe... but I'm sure not climbin' down four flights of stairs to go do it.

_{[Heather was kind of an asshole.]}

Well. [Winces again] I'm sure he'll remember to avoid that particular part of the street next time.

P-probably, yeah.

Anyway. Fffh.

Well, the man has my sympathies. I nearly slipped on a patch earlier this morning as well.

Are all the streets in Goldenrod like this?

Nah, most of them seem okay.

It's just-- pfft-- that corner.

Just that one? I'll...be on the look out for it.

Say, are you still working at the Department store?

Hm? Oh, yeah-- weekdays, noon till five.

Why?

Well, I'm in the city now, so I thought I'd stop by and visit. [Small smile] Are you feeling up to a battle any time soon?

A-- ... battle?

_{[It had been awhile since anybody had invited her to one. She grins crookedly.]}

Sure! My guys could use a workout.

All right, I'll contact you through the Gear once I've settled into the city a bit more. [His smile falters for a second]

I just got into the city, so there are still a few things I'd like to take care of first.

Awesome, just gimme a call.

_{[Then she notes the faltering of the smile.]}

... Something up?

It's nothing. I'm a little tired from the traveling--just got to Goldenrod earlier today.

All righty. _{[She's not gonna push.]}

You oughta find somewhere to hunker down and sleep. It's late.

51. Video

[Video] JERRY HAS A HARD LIFE.

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