Heather Mason (
foolishwren) wrote2012-08-13 07:19 pm
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Entry tags:
- *coraline: other father,
- *fullmetal alchemist: envy,
- *kingdom hearts: minnie mouse,
- *metal gear solid: hal 'otacon' emmerich,
- *nightmare before xmas: jack skellington,
- *professor layton: luke triton,
- *silent hill: harry mason,
- *transformers (movie): ironhide,
- *where in the world is: carmen sandiego,
- *yu-gi-oh!: crow hogan,
- @cooper,
- @ironhide,
- @minnie,
- @otacon,
- aaaaangst,
- action,
- aftermath,
- all my fault,
- anger management issues,
- brooding mcbroodypants,
- daddy issues,
- family,
- goldenrod city,
- heather is a bad role model,
- heather why would you even do that,
- her anger is how she says "i love you",
- holding my heart out but clutching it to,
- private message,
- shoulda coulda woulda,
- text,
- that went on my permanent record didn't,
- why can't i hold all these feelings
97. [Action for Goldenrod/Private Text]
I don't know if it'll fix anything at this point, because I said some pretty horrendous things to all of you, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry.
I'll understand if you're still mad. None of you need to reply to this.
[It's probably not surprising that there's been radio silence from Heather on the 'Gear for awhile, considering... well, everything. Even if she hadn't had her 'Gear confiscated as part of the 'grounding', she hadn't exactly been in a chatty mood.]
[But even if she's bound to the city, she's not bound to the hotel room, and considering that she's sort of in the doghouse at the moment, she's not too interested in staying cooped up with the people who are rightfully upset with her.]
[So she can be found wandering the streets of Goldenrod City with Cujo padding along at her side, window-shopping or occasionally lounging on a bench-- minus the firepowers that blew the metaphorical Diglett-hole into a volcanic mountain a few weeks ago, but unfortunately still with the unattractive aftereffects of the whole ordeal: smoky black hair, patches of scorched-looking skin, and a permanent burnt-toast smell following her around.]
text;
text;
what would i have done to myself that's so terrible
kill someone?
been there, done that.
i hate it but it happens
it's happenED
text;
Think about what you're saying. Listen to yourself. The thought of taking a life is nothing more than "been there, done that"?
You've answered your own question.
text;
Okay
you've made your point
you're right.
I wasn't even able to do it in the end so I don't know what that says.
text;
It's something I wish someone had said to me, when I was your age.
text;
.... what? why?
text;
I'm not equating my experiences with yours, or making any attempt at comparing them. It doesn't work like that. But I know what happens when you let your anger and someone else's actions dictate your choices. And I also know how it feels when you resign yourself to something that you've decided is inevitable.
You're not a killer at heart, no matter what you think or what you've done or what anyone has said about you. You have the capacity to change. And you are smart enough to do better. You know that what you did wasn't your only option. I don't want to see you forget that.
text;
... for awhile I really thought that talking to her might work here
it never could have worked at home but here maybe
but I was wrong and now I don't think there's anyway to fix things, killing or not.
I don't know what to do
text;
But Lao Zi once said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You might start yours by apologizing to your father.
text;
I did do that already
I might be a total jerk but I love my dad
text;
text;
I guess not
but I also wasn't lying when I said it was about more than just him
[MOSTLY him, yes... but not completely.]