foolishwren | 101. [Text] (backdated to the 23rd)

okay listen up you weedles, I was going through a bunch of old photos stored on this thing and found this one I forgot about from like idk a few months ago or maybe a year or something

it's starter appreciation day so it seemed appropriate to just say a few words or something about that ugly orange thing in the picture with me

okay so first of all
i hate dogs
like
i fuckin HATE them, okay. I always have
I also hate FIRE
Fire and dogs are basically like the top two things on my hate list
so when you take that into account, Cujo the Growlithe is essentially an overlapping circle graph of everything i hate



needless to say, when they gave me HIM on top of all the interdimensional kidnapping and shit it basically felt like this:



except he was some kinda huge mutation or something 
so
i mean
really




like seriously let's take a look at this majestic animal



unlike that other picture, nothing in this one is an exaggeration everything you see is the bare naked truth, like speaking of naked i have no idea how he loses so much hair (on me) every single day and yet still looks like the unholy baby of a tiger and a dusty bunny that lives on the cutting-room floor of a Muppet movie

so yea what I'm trying to say is that i was SUPER DUPER THRILLED at being told i was going to have to go on a magical adventure with this thing. like it'd be one thing if he minded his own business and stayed away from me but



what made it even worse is the fact that i am pretty sure this dog has like two fucking brain cells, i don't think dogs are supposed to be like this



anyway i would draw more of the retarded stuff he does but i think you get the general idea. he is basically the stupidest thing on the planet

so it probably goes without saying that for a long time i basically hated him. he was always up in my space and as i said before, i fuckin hate dogs. his hair got all over my clothes. he was heavy and knocked me down and chewed on my shoes and constantly ran away and got me in trouble because he knocked OTHER people down and chewed on THEIR shoes and to top it all off he'd light things on fucking fire



so what you're all probably thinking is, wow, she clearly hates this poor animal, so was that picture at the beginning photoshopped at something

i'm not even actually sure if they have photoshop here but the answer is NO

you see, after a few months of just generally trying to ignore him, some shit happened and i learned something
despite the colossal asshole i'd been, he stuck with me and protected me anyway. like seriously i was pretty much the most gigantic douchenozzle towards him but he was basically too stupid and nice to care, and things like that deserve someone who actually treats them decent

because seriously i probably would have died if it weren't for him

so yeah uh three years later, here we are

love ya, you stupid stinky dog




_.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

hes not drooling enough in these pictures

this entire post really just made my night
i can't stop laughing

but this is also rlly touching

[Okay Applejack can't really text back because what are fingers, but instead, she'll respond with a chuckle.]

You've got too much time on your hands, Sugarcube.

shut up my hand was tired

why heather, I had no idea you were such a talented artist

adorable

only word that i could probably say in response really
that and touched

sounds like another job well-done for Heather 'Heartwarmer' Mason, then.



but haha no seriously I'm surprised 'touching' is being used to describe anything that's mostly insults

sounds like your a very lucky trainer

and i'd say you managd to sneak it in there at the very end

_{[That's okay Applejack, HEATHER ACCEPTS YOU.]}

Maybe, but I just discovered the PS Paint app on the 'Gear and there was nothing better to do today.

You could always be trainin'~. [Because that's all Applejack does, obviously.]

[Chuckles.]

Negative fifty, huh?

Dogs tend to grow on their owners. Both figuratively and literally.

Nice artistry. I've never seen more accurate representations of Cujo.

[He's still chuckling a bit, but at least he got most of his laughs out before answering. What is personal space? Is a problem he's still having with Nitas, but she's not his starter so the point probably remains that the universe loves Heather so much, it gave her a dopey fire dog that she grew to like.]

it's a hidden talent

you're the second person to say that

honestly i'm surprised

i just spent like five paragraphs describing him in such unflattering terms

I guess so.

_{[And then there's a pause.]}

... It's been awhile, huh.

Turns out spending three years with something is a pretty good way to capture their essence, y'know?

_{[So the universe was either shitting on her or giving her a gift in disguise. ... Or both. Makes a surprising amount of sense, really.]}

I guess I am.

_{[At least when it came to her Pokemon. ... It's something she could stand to think about a little more often.]}

Aw, c'mon. I trained yesterday. I was tired.

_{[Laaaaazy laaazy.]

[Though she has been training a lot more than she used to...]}

its probably the last paragraph there
and the last line

still nice seeing trainers talk about their starters though
especially after 3 years with them [Cause seriously, goddamn.]

Oh my god. The parallels.

Your dog sounds like a pain in the ass.

[Goddammit Heather, he has a stoic, grumpy facade to maintain here.]

[Laughing to himself totally ruins that.]

Yeah.

I think you could stand to like the animal more.

Yeah. Somehow I got to thinking if I stopped bothering with people they'd stop bothering me.

It made more sense at the time.

are you me?

clearly

I mean you captured him so well

[As someone who has been knocked over by Cujo before, Envy has some idea.]

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