101. [Text] (backdated to the 23rd)

[foolishwren]

okay listen up you weedles, I was going through a bunch of old photos stored on this thing and found this one I forgot about from like idk a few months ago or maybe a year or something

it's starter appreciation day so it seemed appropriate to just say a few words or something about that ugly orange thing in the picture with me


okay so first of all
i hate dogs
like
i fuckin HATE them, okay. I always have
I also hate FIRE
Fire and dogs are basically like the top two things on my hate list
so when you take that into account, Cujo the Growlithe is essentially an overlapping circle graph of everything i hate



needless to say, when they gave me HIM on top of all the interdimensional kidnapping and shit it basically felt like this:



except he was some kinda huge mutation or something
so
i mean
really




like seriously let's take a look at this majestic animal



unlike that other picture, nothing in this one is an exaggeration everything you see is the bare naked truth, like speaking of naked i have no idea how he loses so much hair (on me) every single day and yet still looks like the unholy baby of a tiger and a dusty bunny that lives on the cutting-room floor of a Muppet movie

so yea what I'm trying to say is that i was SUPER DUPER THRILLED at being told i was going to have to go on a magical adventure with this thing. like it'd be one thing if he minded his own business and stayed away from me but



what made it even worse is the fact that i am pretty sure this dog has like two fucking brain cells, i don't think dogs are supposed to be like this



anyway i would draw more of the retarded stuff he does but i think you get the general idea. he is basically the stupidest thing on the planet

so it probably goes without saying that for a long time i basically hated him. he was always up in my space and as i said before, i fuckin hate dogs. his hair got all over my clothes. he was heavy and knocked me down and chewed on my shoes and constantly ran away and got me in trouble because he knocked OTHER people down and chewed on THEIR shoes and to top it all off he'd light things on fucking fire



so what you're all probably thinking is, wow, she clearly hates this poor animal, so was that picture at the beginning photoshopped at something

i'm not even actually sure if they have photoshop here but the answer is NO

you see, after a few months of just generally trying to ignore him, some shit happened and i learned something
despite the colossal asshole i'd been, he stuck with me and protected me anyway. like seriously i was pretty much the most gigantic douchenozzle towards him but he was basically too stupid and nice to care, and things like that deserve someone who actually treats them decent

because seriously i probably would have died if it weren't for him

so yeah uh three years later, here we are

love ya, you stupid stinky dog




.

Comments

[text]

[no_ufo_ending]

hes not drooling enough in these pictures

[text]

[foolishwren]

shut up my hand was tired

text;

[sweettalker]

this entire post really just made my night
i can't stop laughing

but this is also rlly touching

text;

[foolishwren]

sounds like another job well-done for Heather 'Heartwarmer' Mason, then.



but haha no seriously I'm surprised 'touching' is being used to describe anything that's mostly insults

[Audio]

[buckyouup]

[Okay Applejack can't really text back because what are fingers, but instead, she'll respond with a chuckle.]

You've got too much time on your hands, Sugarcube.

[Audio]

[foolishwren]

_{[That's okay Applejack, HEATHER ACCEPTS YOU.]}

Maybe, but I just discovered the PS Paint app on the 'Gear and there was nothing better to do today.

[text]

[exeggutorhead]

why heather, I had no idea you were such a talented artist

[text]

[foolishwren]

it's a hidden talent

[text]

[brokenmemories]

adorable

only word that i could probably say in response really
that and touched

[text]

[foolishwren]

you're the second person to say that

honestly i'm surprised

i just spent like five paragraphs describing him in such unflattering terms

[Voice]

[justicereigns]

[Chuckles.]

Negative fifty, huh?

Dogs tend to grow on their owners. Both figuratively and literally.

[Voice]

[foolishwren]

I guess so.

_{[And then there's a pause.]}

... It's been awhile, huh.

video

[shadowdive]

Nice artistry. I've never seen more accurate representations of Cujo.

[He's still chuckling a bit, but at least he got most of his laughs out before answering. What is personal space? Is a problem he's still having with Nitas, but she's not his starter so the point probably remains that the universe loves Heather so much, it gave her a dopey fire dog that she grew to like.]

video

[foolishwren]

Turns out spending three years with something is a pretty good way to capture their essence, y'know?

_{[So the universe was either shitting on her or giving her a gift in disguise. ... Or both. Makes a surprising amount of sense, really.]}

Video

[nasa_dreams]

Oh my god. The parallels.

Video

[foolishwren]

Oh yeah, you named yours Cujo too, right?

[text]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Your dog sounds like a pain in the ass.

[text]

[foolishwren]

he is the biggest pain my ass has ever encountered

text

[show_my_cannons]

[Goddammit Heather, he has a stoic, grumpy facade to maintain here.]

[Laughing to himself totally ruins that.]

Yeah.

I think you could stand to like the animal more.

text

[foolishwren]

_{[If only she could have seen it, maybe she'd ease up on him some about his apparent lack of sense of humor.]}

man that's pretty rich coming from you, didn't you call all dogs 'rodents' not that long ago???

text

[viiru2alert]

are you me?

text

[foolishwren]

that depends, are you a blond chick with a giant orange dog that burps fire?

[video]

[darkenedgales]

[... NAH. He's been doing so much texting recently his fingers almost hurt from typing all of that stuff, so he'll stick to video instead, deal with it.

It also means Heather is greeted with a soft chuckle and a gentle smile on the screen.]

Cute.

[video]

[foolishwren]

Yeah, he does have the cuteness factor goin' for him.

I'll admit to that.

[video]

[vulpesvivus]

[brb he's laughing way too hard]

[video]

[foolishwren]

You know what I'm talkin' about.

You remember what it was like for me to deal with him back then.

You were THERE.

Action

[haveyouseenalittlegirl]

[Trying not to laugh. He remembers when he'd hang your drawings on the fridge.]

Sharing your masterpieces with the world?

Action

[foolishwren]

<sub>[And she remembers actually being PROUD of those drawings oh god the humanity.]

[Now, though, she's sort of outgrown the embarrassment and just leans back in her seat, smirking.]</sub>

Yep.

[licentious]

A fantastic story. Bravo.

I have to admit, I am endlessly amused and quite impressed with how willing you are to reform and change. You may not like the habits he has, but you are willing to work with him and still give him an endless amount of patience. You also don't immediately leave him for the next, best, shiny thing.

That's quite a rare quality to have. Especially for someone that was so dissatisfied with the cards she was dealt out. But, aren't we all. At first, anyways [ We interrupt this cute loving post to bring you philosophical bullshit! ]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[OH HELLO THERE.]

[Lust's praise and analyzation has always somewhat confused Heather, but it's tough to argue with a compliment to your character.]</sub>

well I mean...

it's not like i had much of a choice.

if I just dug my heels in and refused to have anything to do with him i probably wouldn't have gotten very far...

[video]

[eclectical]

[Jade still looks a bit amused when she first turns on her video feed to answer this because oh my god, those descriptions and that art. Also, if Heather looks closely, she'll probably be able to see Bec, Jade's own giant puppy starter, in the background.]

This is really sweet. It's great that you came to love your starter so much!

[video]

[foolishwren]

_{[GIANT PUPPY STARTERS UNITE.]}

Heh, well...

He grows on you, y'know?

[text]

[bakaitoukid]

[after some time spent laughing...]

Are you sure you actually like him? I'm not quite sure I could tell after reading this message.

[text]

[foolishwren]

well sometimes I wonder but I'm PRETTY sure this warm feeling in my chest isn't heartburn

[Video]

[moveslikestrider]

[Dave laughs. The art and the tone is just perfect. He loves the hell out of this post and gives a nod when he turns on the gear.] Hahahaha, man fire starters all have their quirks. I got saddled with a flaming pony.

[See what he did there.]

But she grew on me.

[Video]

[foolishwren]

_{[Oh nice, she got The Nod. Radical.]}

Yeah? I have one of those too... thankfully a CALM one. Which is nice, since the destructive potential of something that's permanently on fire surpasses something that just breathes fire by such a massive scale that I'm scared to think about it too hard.

... But yeah. I guess there's just something special about your first, huh?

[islandshore]

Guess that's one thing you can't fault starters for. They can be loyal even when you treat them like dirt or give them terrible nicknames like Slacker.

I don't use him much these days, and I've gotta admit that I didn't feel that enthralled by this holiday at first, but posts like this make me appreciate it just a little bit more.

Plus, the drawings alone are worth it.

[foolishwren]

haha WELL

I didn't feel like typin any essays so i figured drawings would get the point across pretty well

anyway... i was like "whatever" about the holiday too for a bit but idk i think it's kinda nice now

our starters put up with a lot of crap