foolishwren | 104. [Video]

_{[As is fairly regular with Heather, who never really plans AHEAD when she turns her feed on, the video opens with a brief glimpse at something entirely-unrelated!]

[Two large Houndooms, one bare-necked and the other wearing a large, studded leather collar-- are at play in a sunny patch of park. Or more accurately, the big collar-wearing one is TRYING to get the other to play, in a show of big-dog posturing, and the uncollared one is sort of just mild-manneredly humoring him.]

[Right before the camera shifts, though, a blur of blue and yellow barrels into the larger of the two hellhounds and the one-sided playtime promptly becomes an enthusiastic wrestling match between Tricia (the Manectric recently inherited from Cooper) and Huan (the Houndoom even more recently inherited from Otacon).]

[But then it's Heather's face dominating the screen, because she apparently has other things in mind than just showing the network a bunch of dogs running around the park.]}

Hey.

So.

If there's anyone around who knows much about horses... riding horses, specifically...

I'm looking to learn. Any advice's appreciated. Thanks in advance.

_{[... Well that was unusually businesslike and to the point. ... For someone like Heather, anyway. There's not much humor in the usually-goofy girl's voice today.]

[Before she can flick the 'Gear off, there's a commotion offscreen and she looks off in the direction of the noise, clearly exasperated.]}

... TCH, god dammit Cujo.

_{[The view shifts as she gets up and it becomes apparent that Cujo the Hulking Behemoth of a Growlithe (tm) had decided to join the fray and promptly plowed straight OVER at least two of the participants, who are now chasing after him in a big herd of barking chaos across the park. OH THOSE CRAZY DOGES.]

[End feed.]}

[PRIVATE MESSAGE TO JEANE]

HEY. How did you do that shit at the party?

_{[... well wtf is that supposed to mean, Heather. Clarification is apparently not going to be provided until she gets a reply.]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How the fuck did you control the damn thing, then?

[Eridan wouldn't be able to ride a bird or anything at all if he wasn't somehow in control. Cuz, man, he just can't rely on the volition of something else to keep him safe, that just goes against most of his natural troll instincts.]

Oh... Well, if it ain't a danger, then what's the fuckin' issue here? Just get on it and ride.

[Eridan is completely unaware of these Alessa problems man, and even if he did know, he'd probably tell her to suck it up anyways.]

_{[She shrugs.]}

Faith, trust, and pixie dust? Hell if I know, it's hard to put into words. But it wasn't that difficult.

_{[Of course, all the birds she's flown were very obedient. Trying to fly one who was out of control probably wouldn't go so well without gear.]}

There's more TO it than getting on and RIDING.

_{[And yeah, that would be why she doesn't talk to a single living soul about the Alessa stuff. She don't need no judgment from strangers.]}

Sounds like fakey fake bullshit that only grubs an' total morons would sign themselwes up for beliewin' in. You're lucky you were successful in not gettin' killed.

[Eridan will always have his skepticism, even if the beast he has is obedient. It's just his nature, yo.]

I doubt it, I mean, unless you got some ridiculous traumatic story with some fuckin' flamin' hoofbeast or somethin'. Which I highly doubt.

Seriously... It's like ridin' a two-wheel dewice, just it has four legs and could trample you to death. Not a big deal, honestly.

[When your species prides itself on doing horrific things, and reveres murderers and cruelty, something like some issues over some fucked up shit seems really pedestrian to Eridan. Then again, it ain't like he'd ever be able to fully fathom what Heather went through, nor would he try. So, Heather is making some good choices on this front.]

Apparently sarcasm is a little over your head, but that's okay. You get three strikes before you're out.

_{[She'd found Eridan's attitude sort of tiresome last time and it's grinding on her nerves fairly quickly now. So her tone is deadpan.]}

Anyway, it's not like riding a bike, so unless you have something more useful to contribute...

_{[She's not one to talk about her traumas. Not lightly, anyway.]}

It ain't so much that I don't get sarcasm, it's just that that sorta shit ain't too far remowed from some of the hilariously absurd shit people I'm unfortunately acquainted with would beliewe. So...

[Eridan's hardly as bothered, really, this is all run of the mill for his sort of conversations. Actually pretty mild in comparison. It's almost weird with how little vitriol is being spewed between them.]

I wasn't bein' serious, but look, if you're fuckin' scared and you let your fear gowern your actions, you're gonna get thrown off. Find some confidence in what you're doin' and hold the fuck on. Don't let your hoofbeast take control--be assertiwe, or you'll find your ass bein' handed to you. And laughed at, really.

I'm sure a girl like you can figure out how to feign some confidence ewen in the face a somethin' scary.

[Of course the emphasis there is every bit condescending in tone.]

_{[... Okay, yeah. She's getting sick of his attitude. Run of the mill or not. It's not ENTIRELY Eridan's fault-- her patience reserves are dangerously low lately]}

Well, to be fair, I was looking for more technical advice than the generic 'oh don't be scaaaared, believe in yourseeeelf', which is pretty, y'know. Obvious.

Technical is somethin' best taught in person. But ewen then, if you can't figure it out on your own dickin' around, then maybe you're not cut out for ridin' in the first place.

[It isn't like anyone taught him how to do it, so clearly everyone should be able to figure it out on their own too!]

Really, the shit is so basic and obwious, if you can't figure it out by just usin' your think pan, then maybe you should just giwe up now.

_[Drily.]

You're an inspiration, kid.

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