foolishwren | 105. FOURTH WALL POST [Action for Saffron City, anywhere in Saffron City! Video's okay too]

But fine, we've got time for a photo.

Make it quick.

[He poses:

]

_{[UNFINISHED BUSINESS. Ohhh, she does not like the sound of that.]

[... but on the other hand... she can't believe that worked.]

[Obligingly, she holds up the 'Gear as though she's about to snap a shot.]}

Oookay, hold that pose...!

_{[And then she is fucking gone. Running like a bat outta hell.]

[She's pretty sure the unfinished business is gonna happen one way or another (she might be fast but she's not DELUSIONAL), but a-at least she can get a head start!]}

[He holds that pose, puffed up proudly... until he realises what just happened.

Kiddo... N-no. No, Kiddo, No.
The only thing that rivals his wingspan (besides his ego) is his stride. He's about 35 feet tall and his legs make up a good third of that height.

... It takes him under two steps to catch up with her.]

[It takes him two seconds to bend down and try to grab her.]

[For everything else, there's MasterCard.]

Edited 2013-06-07 04:38 (UTC)

_{[IT WAS KIND OF A DUMB PLAN OKAY BUT SHE COULDN'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE A DOPE.]

[To be fair, she IS pretty fast... but no, not fast enough to outrun a 35-foot-tall metal ostrich.]

[When his giant hand DESCENDS FROM ON HIGH to snatch her up, she successfully dodges it at least once... but with great effort and a drastic reduction in speed. She can't exactly do that for long.]

[But hey-- it was worth a shot, right?]}

[Hands, huge, hard, all encompassing, and cold like death wrap around Heather's midsection.]

Are you sure you got a good shot?

_{[Her first impulse is to plant her hands against the giant metal fingers and just strain against it, but that obviously won't get her anywhere.]}

--I was TRYING to get all of you into the frame, but a close-up would be good to have too--!

_{[... And as usual her mouth is about ten miles ahead of her, for better or for worse.]}

Up close and personal, is it?

That reminds me of where I last left off with you...

[He draws it out with a dramatic pause, squeezing Heather a little tighter...]

I never finished loving you properly~~~

[And then Heather was pressed flat against his robot bosom. Again.
Yeah. That's right. MemeScream coming at you, hard and fast.]

Edited 2013-06-14 06:16 (UTC)

_{[--and then she was unceremoniously slammed against a big sheet of metal OW GODDAMMIT]

OW! You-- god friggin' shit, put me DOWN!

_{[IS IT BAD THAT SHE ALMOST PREFERS HIM BEING HOMICIDAL?]

[oh god did she chip a tooth? she's pretty sure she chipped a tooth.]}}

Edited 2013-06-15 04:20 (UTC)

[He gives her a jaunty pat on the back. (It probably hurts just a bit. But hey, some people are into that. Starscream certainly is...)]

Now, if I remember correctly, we were engaged in the loving action of kissing one another.

So tell me Heather, are you puckered yet?

I've heard it's better when you close your eyes~.

_{[NOOOOO NOPE NOPE NOPE NOOOPE]}

Oh you GOTTA be kiddin' me!

_{[Except she knows he isn't, because she's not rally sure he has that particular sense of humor tucked away anywhere in his black, shriveled little soul. Or spark. Whatever.]

[But in any case, she remembers this happening already, and she has NO desire for giant robot smooches, so without further ado (and presumably as his monstrous head descends in her general direction), she grabs a small, red-and-white ball out of her pocket.]

[And prays that this will work.]

[In a flash of blinding white light, Starscream will be met with a semi-corporeal purple mass of rubbery spectral jello to the face.]}

[Starscream doesn't see the tiny ball nor the flash of light because he's too busy following his own advice. With closed eyes, he leans down for a long, deep, passionate kiss... as a dude with no tongue. How that would work we just don't know.]

[We will continue to not know because when he tries to connect with his intended target, he is met instead with something that can best be describes as feeling like space-jello.]

Wha-HRK!?

[It's got the consistency of space-jello too, Starscream finds out, as he accidentally inhales it with a startled inward gasp.]

HRK!!

[Oh gross, it even tastes like space jello.]

_{[If Heather had ever wondered whether or not robots had gag reflexes, her question would have been answered today. But, unsurprisingly, she's never wondered whether or not robots have gag reflexes.]

[MEANWHILE, INSIDE STARSCREAM:]

[A pair of glowing red eyes pop open. There are many ways to be rudely awakened from a nap, but probably the rudest is being flung out of your house and IMMEDIATELY INHALED BY SOMETHING.]

[Starscream will immediately be aware of a very disgruntled, semi-nasal voice drifting through his possibly-panicked mind.]}

... wat da FUK is dis shit?!

[You know, a lot of robots DO in fact have gag reflexes. Why? That's none of your business. Starscream on the other hand is apparently pretty good at choking things down though, but really, you'd be lying if you said you were anything but surprised.]

W-What? [he sputters]

What was that?

[Crazed eyes turn to Heather and he gives her a little shake.]

WHAT WAS THAT?

[The shaking starts to get worse...]

ANSWER ME, HUMAN!

_{[Eyes wide, Heather can't make much of a response with her voice literally shaken away. But fortunately for her (because the physical trauma of being SHAKEN by a building-sized airplane gjinka is enough to effectively snap her head right off her spine if it goes on long enough, which isn't very long at all), the shaking will abruptly still to a mere jitter.]

[Starscream will find that his arm is simply not responding to the commands he's giving it.]

[Again, the voice will float through his mind, this time tinged with a hint of wonder.]}

Wat...

Dis... dis is some trippy SHIT.

_{[And then, quite independently of Starscream, the non-Heather-holding-hand will lift itself up and splay in front of his eyes, turning this way and that.]}

DAYUM!

UH...

No. No, don't do that. Hand, no. Down, arm.

[Quite luckily for Heather's spine, the girl is temporarily forgotten as Starscream starts to literally talk to the hand.]

Arm, I command you to lower yourself immediately. This is the rest of your body speaking, and I did not give you permission to act independently, no, stop. Yes, I know we have elegantly crafted hands, I was just telling the human such, but now is NOT the time.

[Turning to Heather sheepishly:]

This uh, this doesn't usually happen...

_{[If Heather weren't more or less in survival mode, she would probably find this whole situation hilarious.]

[But she's a little concerned with her health at the moment, and to be honest SHE'S NOT ENTIRELY CERTAIN WHAT HAPPENED TO SLIGHTLY.]

[At least, not until she puts two and two together with the fact that Starscream's limbs aren't listening to him. Because, after all, she had once witnessed a full-on Ghost Pokemon Possession involving floating-through-the-air Michael Jackson impressions and pantslessness.]}

... OH...

_{[And that is all she has to say on that subject at first, because she's not actually sure if this is a positive development or not. She and Slightly have NEVER gotten along.]

[Meanwhile, inside Starscream's.... head? Wherever the fuck the Gengar is currently floating around--]}

Are you a Steel-type, bub? Electric, maybe?

Or like... a Klinkklang wit' a macro fetish?

I don't even-- wat's dis?

_{[And then one of Starscream's arm rockets promptly detonates and goes spiraling off into the stratosphere, where it explodes.]}

HOLY F--!

Excuse me a moment, my dear. Someone's trying to contact me, but there seems to be some sort of interference and I need to take this call. Don't mind the minor malfunction by the way, it's just a little glitch. It'll work itself out, I assure you, and then we can get back to where we left off~~.

[Heather will promptly find herself being held hanging horizontally as Starscream brings two fingers to press against the side of his helm. There doesn't look to be a REASON he's doing that, since there's no buttons... or ears... or much of anything decorating this side of his head, but maybe this helps with the ... reception??]

Hello? What's this about steel, now? Who is this? You're not making any se--- WHAT?

[Starscream watches completely at a loss as the missile sails away, explodes, and startles a flock of nearby pidgeys.]

_{[She manages to mostly stifle a small shriek as she's whipped up a good twenty feet or so-- yeah, being horizontal and FACING THE GROUND SORT OF doesn't really help out with the vertigo at all]}

DUDE, I think he's--

_{[But whatever she's saying-- which might possibly be for the sake of WARNING him of all things-- gets cut off by the torrent of semi-maniacal laughter that suddenly fills Scream's head.]

[Now, this may or may not be all that different from what fills his head on a regular basis, but the main thing that sets it apart is the fact that it's this stranger's voice, and not his.]}

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AW SHIT!

THIS IS AWESOME!!

_{[... And then Starscream will find his body turning ALL BY ITSELF to face the city.]}

LET'S DO DIS!

...

...

...

I meant to do that.

[Starscream, assured Heather... sounding as convincing as this product.]

_{[Surely he completely means to do what happens next, too, which is his body just up and deciding to start tromping right down the hill towards the city. TIME FOR SOME MECHAGODZILLA VS. TOKYO SHIT.]}

[Except Godzilla has his formal wear on today, and unless Gengar has experimented with cross-dressing and really high heels... he's going to get his first lesson in exactly how difficult these little ~~big~~ babies are to walk in. And let's not even get STARTED on the advanced levels of tromping, inclined planes, or hills.

Sorry Gengar, you just haven't learned that move set yet.

But here's a hands-on demonstration about why boulders hidden in the tall grass can be tough on giant robots. Especially those balancing precariously two tiny points of pressure.]

Ow! [Starscream manages to say, the terror of what's currently happening to him overshadowed by the sudden surprise and pain of tripping.] My ankle bearing!

_{[... Although it would not be entirely out of character for Slightly to have dabbled in such things in complete privacy... it's safe to say that no, he is not experienced in walking around on anything but his own stubby, incorporeal legs.]

[He (and Starscream) promptly crash downwards with mingled exclamations of alarm.]

[Meanwhile, somewhere at the bottom of the hill (fortunately well out of being-crushed range), a young Pokemon trainer and his Herdier pause and stare. The trainer lifts his PokeGear and takes a video, because giant robots falling down hills is exactly what Youtube is for.]}

[How're you doing Heather, still hanging in there? The fall might not have been very pleasant, but on the bright side, at least Starscream-Gengar didn't drop you. Unfortunately though, Starscream-Gengar also didn't drop you.]

[It's unclear under who's power the giant metal body is in when it pushes itself to its feet, but that stops being the main problem at hand because it's about that moment exactly when a figure emerges from the tall grass.]

[Again.]

Oh for the love of--

Edited 2013-08-02 00:35 (UTC)

105. FOURTH WALL POST [Action for Saffron City, anywhere in Saffron City! Video's okay too]

3/3

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There's a joke here about how far he can spread his legs... except it's all true

we all know he practices (also icon keywords relevant)

And yet, Megatron STILL doesn't appreciate him.

ugh, MEN, amirite?

Yes, exactly! Finally, someone that understands----- wait. [1/2]

Re: ugh, MEN, amirite?

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Let me know if this is okay, hahahahaaaaaaa

UR GOOD BRO :Ib

He swallows

he would. (also let me know if this is okay)

Gonna just straight up give you 100% mod powers. Gengar Leveled up!

OKAY AWESOME

Heather became banana phone

ring ring ring ring ring BANANA PHONE

Let's hope he doesn't try to unpeel her, this time

yep that would be good

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1/?

2/?

3/?

Because no WAY did Starscream win THAT battle 4/4

NOPE

Remember when I said "wait for it"