foolishwren | 112. [Video]

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112. [Video]

_{[It's Christmas morning, either before or after the presumed present-opening-- late enough for the sun to be that warm yellow glow as it comes through the windows.]

[The video comes on as the 'Gear is set down on a shiny counter top, and then there's a clunk as a big tall glass of some Christmasy nutmeg-dusted drink is set down in front of it. It's followed by Heather.]}

If anyone ever told me I'd be getting up early to train on Christmas morning, I'd be like pffffpchcpt.

... But damn if I don't feel pumped as hell.

_{[She scoots to the side a little bit and beckons to someone offscreen.]}

Hey, c'mon, get in the shot! Don't be shy.

_{[After a little more coaxing, the one she's talking to scoots into view and shyly waves a big red punching glove. It's a Hitmonchan with mostly-shut, squinting eyes and a rather lumpy head.]}

Junior here's been helping me out ever since he evolved. We're just grabbing something before we head back to the hotel.

... _{[She pauses and leans over to glance at a SECOND glass, which is sitting in front of the Pokemon.]}

... I hope Pokemon can have this stuff without getting sick.

_{[Because she hadn't exactly asked before getting two. :I]}

... Well, the Pokemon Center's right next door.

_{[She lifts the glass, and the Hitmonchan does the same.]}

Cheers!

_{[It seems like a wrap, and she even reaches over to turn the 'Gear off... but then:]}

[CRASH THUMPPA-THUD BOOM]

_{[There are several screams and the tinkle of breaking glass as a flying Stantler comes smashing through the restaurant like a juggernaut]}

.... Well that just happened.

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[YES GOOD. He grins back.]

Well, dead people do show up here all the time. I just wanted to make sure.

But I really should have just gone ahead and assumed.

We-ell.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't died a few times before I could achieve the desired result.

But hey.

I'm like a bad penny.

I always come back.

_{[On some level it feels weird to be joking about it. But then, joking has always been how Heather's been able to handle uncomfortable truths.]}

Well, after the first time, dying's not so bad. Not if you know you're going to come back from it, anyway.

[He certainly doesn't mind her joking about it; he's never been one for being serious for long, even about serious subjects.]

Being able to come back isn't something most people have going for them, though.

_{[She wrinkles her nose and heaves a sigh.]}

I dunno.

Once I realized what was happening... seemed to hurt even worse each time 'cuz I knew it wasn't gonna be over.

Maybe that was a bit of the old me shining through, I dunno.

It does hurt, no denying that.

I've been dying and coming back for so long, I guess I got used to it.

[It became an inconvenience. A very painful inconvenience sometimes, and something he'd rather avoid, but not really a big deal. Nothing to have nightmares over, like his first death. Then again, he didn't have to come back to Silent Hill. He tilts his head at her, realizing something.]

How is it that you could come back more than once, anyway? I know how I can do it, but I don't think it'd be the same thing for you.

[It also adds a whole new level of awful to the idea of her killing herself. When a homunculus like him that has more than one life wants to do that, they have to do it repeatedly.]

Edited 2014-01-20 19:02 (UTC)

_{[There had always been something horridly futile about Alessa's attempts to end her own life. She had probably always known it, too-- otherwise she wouldn't have turned to something as drastic as the Seal of Metatron.]

[At the question, though, Heather pauses.]

[She's been talking freer than she otherwise would in a public place, thanks to the general chaos-- but there are limits.]}

... I'm, uh... gonna move somewhere else, okay?

[Envy shifts and re-settles against the air conditioner he's still leaning on, and nods.]

Sure, go ahead.

[He's fine with waiting until she finds as much privacy as she wants.]

_{[All things considered, she probably should have just hung up and called him back later, but she leaves the call going as she gets up and heads out, recalling her Pokemon as she does so.]

[It's awhile before the jittering video and sounds of walking stop.]}

... Still there?

[There's plenty of people for him to watch down on the streets below. Even in the morning, Goldenrod is starting to get busy. He starts paying attention to the 'Gear again when he hears her voice.]

Yeah, I'm still here.

_{[She draws her collar tighter before sitting down-- she's outside now, sitting on a bench.]}

'Kay, cool.

So... to answer that question.

... We haven't talked about it in awhile, but... you're... y'know. You do the rebirth thing because you're not human. Right?

[He nods.]

Yeah, mostly. We've got a...

[He pauses, and gestures vaguely with his free hand. It's hard to describe the red stones without going into what they are and the alchemy behind it.]...a power source, that we eat. If I don't run out of that, it'll bring me back. But it only works because of what I am, yeah.

_{[She nods, slowly.]}

Gotcha.

... Well.

I'm not... exactly human either.

Yeah, I remember. I think you told me before, a while ago.

...And if you hadn't, I would've figured it out during those few days.

... Yeah. Good.

Well, anyway...

I didn't die permanently because an angel kept bringing me back. ... Well. That was later.

The first time I died I did the job myself.

But I guess the things I used to be able to do got a little watered down, after awhile.

_{[Or maybe if she'd really wanted to, if she hadn't been so determined to make her own way, she'd have been able to do everything Alessa had been able to. She'd probably never know.]}

[For a long moment, Envy stares.]

You brought yourself back to life?

[The part about the angel is actually less strange to him. Because even if it's an angel, hey, it's an outside force doing it. That, he can understand. He does believe her, because he's known her a while and heard all kinds of weird stories from people here, but still. How does that even work.]

That's--the things you used to be able to do were really damn impressive if you could do something like that.

_{[Yeah, the angel thing... well, it stands to reason that an angel could return someone to life. No wonder she keeps coming back, if there's angels involved. ... The bigger question would be, why the hell would an angel be invested in keeping her alive?]}

Yeah.

... Well, only once.

And I guess it was more like making a photocopy and burning the original.

But close enough.

_{[She lets out a sigh, leaning over in her seat with her elbows between her knees, 'Gear clasped in her hands.]}

I used to be able to do a lot of things.

Okay, I get it now. Mostly.

[It does make more sense when she puts it like that. And now that he gets her bringing herself back, he can go back to the angel. He met an angel here once, some uptight guy whose name started with a C, so he can at least believe that they exist.]

[...of course, Valtiel and Castiel are two very different kinds of angel, not that he knows this.]

Are those things why there was an angel bringing you back?

_{[Yeah, she talked to Castiel too. Wasn't a big fan-- but, well, his looks WERE a big improvement over the angels she's used to.]}

... Sort of.

I guess it had more to do with what I was that made me able to do those things.

And...what are you? I don't think you've ever said.

[It's the sort of "what are you" said by someone who's spent their whole life with the "what" right up there next to (or completely overshadowing) the "who".]

Edited (wrong icon whoops) 2014-01-28 01:36 (UTC)

_{[There's a pause.]

[There's no real easy way to sum up what she is. So when she speaks, it's slowly.]}

.... There's... no real way to say this without sounding like... I don't know.

_{[Grimacing, she rubs the back of her neck.]}

... A god.

Sort of.

[Well then. There's an answer Envy was not expecting in the slightest.]

Oh.

Well that would…that'd explain the angel thing.

[He's really surprised okay. And when your friend says that they're sort of a god it's hard to figure out how exactly to react right away. But it isn't a negative reaction, at least.]

…I really wouldn't have guessed that.

[He's also hoping she'll keep explaining, because really: what.]

_{[She kind of winces.]}

I know.

I know.

Believe me, it's not like... well, I mean-- it's more like...

... I was the mother of God, but also the daughter, and like... I dunno which one is even which anymore. I think in a way I was all three. It's weird.

_{[She's... obviously not exactly enamored with the whole idea.]}

[He's quiet for a while, while he processes all of this. In a way, it makes sense with what she's told him. She brought herself back, that fits the "mother and daughter" part.]

[There was a religion in his world, he remembers, centuries dead and forgotten except by those like him who were around for it. It had a God that was three in one, and people called it a mystery. The rest of it isn't the same, at least he seriously doubts it, but the way she said it reminded him.]

Most people would like it, the idea of being a god. But you don't.

[Yeah, he can tell. It's just a statement, not an accusation.]

No.

It's not anything I ever asked for.

_{[Her expression is almost pained. It's something she puts out of her mind most of the time, because thinking about it... just brings back all the ways that it had been forced on her. All the people who had wanted to toss a set of reins on her and steer her for their own purposes. Weird that being God should make her feel so powerless.]}

... And besides... where I come from, gods can still be hurt.

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