foolishwren: *morphs into an ordinary fist-sized onion and never morphs back* (hey IDIOTS... watch THIS.)
Heather Mason ([personal profile] foolishwren) wrote2014-07-09 08:50 pm

116. [Video/Action for Lake of Rage]

[It's been a few weeks since Heather's terse text post regarding her father-- hardly the longest period of time she's gone in between network posts, but she certainly hasn't been overly talkative.]

[When the video comes on though, it's partially obscured by a fuzzy blue blob-- the 'Gear has been placed on a clothes rack, pointed to view the next aisle over. Specifically, it's showing the back of a shaggy brown head. Henry Townshend, taciturn photography and unsuspecting victim, is slowly picking his way through a rack of swim trunks.]

[Amid the jangling of clothes-hangers, something appears in the corner of the screen.]

[That something is a pair of hands, and between them-- stretched like a rubber band-- is a Speedo.]

[There is a pregnant pause, probably for the sake of letting the network audience take it all in.]








[Then the hands let it fly.]


[Henry lets out a howl and claps a hand to his head as the speedo bounces off of it with a rubbery twang.]



HEATHER!!


[The camera jostles and the feed ends.]
no_ufo_ending: (stoned)

[action]

[personal profile] no_ufo_ending 2014-07-13 01:47 pm (UTC)(link)
That won't make any sense. If I've got Growlithe shorts I can't have lizard eyes.

[He picks out a snorkel fashioned after a Poke'Flute and checks the price. It's not too bad. Then he sees it. A plastic package hanging just above them has a photo stapled to the top of the abomination inside--it is the worst inflatable Lapras to ever be manufactured in the history of pokemon kind. It has giant googly eyes, ears like a Clefable, and the shell is spotted. Clearly an Orange Islands bootleg.]

[He drops the snorkel.]


We're getting that Lapras.
no_ufo_ending: (stoned)

[action]

[personal profile] no_ufo_ending 2014-07-17 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
[He tenderly removes it from the display as if he were picking up some priceless idol from the depths of a dusty tomb.]

I'm buying this. With my own money.

[AND THEN HE FAST-WALKS AWAY before anyone else can steal his prize.]