foolishwren | RYSLIG IC Contact Post

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, ROADKILL ROOSTER. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.14.007.17 * ROADKILL ROOSTER has joined 007.14.007.17 <ASSMUNCH45> wat up gurl!!!!!!!!!!! <BANNED USER> SCREENED MESSAGE. UNSCREEN? Y/N -- B& MOTHAFUCKA <CREATURECOMFORTS> Are YOU interested in not having to worry about basic needs? Have we got the job for YOU. Click to read more... <SHOVEL_GUY>** hey heather are you getting weird ads for going to live with rich people too??

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yes, i am. i know perfectly well what i'm saying, heather, and i wouldn't be saying it if i didn't know it was true.

you really don't need to be wasting your time arguing about this.

why did you even contact me if you were going to tell me not to waste time on you??
WHY DO YOU EVEN TALK TO ME AT ALL

WHY ARE YOU SO CONVINCED YOU DON'T MATTER????

because i didn't want you thinking i was still dead you shouldn't have to worry aobut that

the entire point of this wa s so that you wouldnt worry its not that i don't want to talk to you

i know i don't alright it's not something i can jsut explain i knowi'm

[And then he just doesn't reply for a while.]

HOW IS YOU TELLING ME THAT YOUR LIFE IS WORTH LESS THAN EVERYONE ELSES SUPPOSED TO STOP ME FROM WORRYING????????






GINKO

_{[When he fails to respond after forty-five minutes or so, she makes up her mind. Her presence in the Okumura brothers' apartment is erratic and never really set to any schedule, but she's still there often enough that she can zip over without announcing herself mostly without any awkwardness.]

[And it's only a hop, skip, and a jump to finding out where Ginko is staying from there.]

[Needless to say, he probably should have expected a dark-feathered figure tapping angrily at the windows eventually.]}

Edited (IM DUMB) 2015-05-04 05:35 (UTC)

[Oddly enough, he wasn't expecting it. At least, not enough to keep from jolting a little at the sudden sound.

He's not visible from the window at first, sitting on the floor amd hidden from view by the crappy, mysteriously stained (is that blood on the headboard? It's definitely blood) bed. His network device is sitting, closed, on top of the sheet.

After a moment of considering just not answering, and then deciding that that would be going a little too far, he pushes himself to his feet, glancing at the window only long enough to determine that it is who he thinks it is. He trudges to the door and finally swings it open.]

What is it.

[It isn't really a question, because he knows why she's there. He just stands there and waits, fiddling with a half-spent one of his weird cigarettes with one hand and making no effort to mask the exhaustion saturating his voice.]

_{[She'd been on the roof, leaning down-- and she scuttles over to the door and hops down when she hears it open.]

[Her feathers are still wind-ruffled, and she doesn't bother smoothing them down. They'll probably only stand up in anger again anyway.]}

You know what.

You gonna let me in or just stand there, huh?

[He places his cigarette back between his lips and moves aside silently, stepping back into the room and clearing the way for her to come in. He's never particularly eager to show people firsthand where he's living, given the condition it's in, but it's better than standing outside.]

Whatever you're planning on saying, go ahead.

[He sure hopes she isn't planning on trying to change his mind, but, given how every single other conversation on this subject has gone, he wouldn't be surprised.]

I wasn't planning on saying anything.

You didn't answer my question.

_{[She steps in, folding her wings and giving him a sour look. >8I SHE'S NOT GONNA LEAVE UNTIL SHE'S SATISFIED WITH YOUR REASONING.]}

You asked a lot of questions. [He closes the door with a quiet sigh, smoke trailing from his nose and mouth. Seems like they might be here awhile.] ...but if you mean how I know you all matter more than I do - it's not something that can be explained all that easily.

Well, I flew all the way here and I sure as hell don't feel like turning around and flying all the way back, so we got some time.

Start talking!

...The fact is, my life has never been of much importance. And I've always known that.

[He sits down on the edge of the bed, his gaze drifting toward the ceiling.] Back in my own world, I always realized that it was impossible for me to ever belong anywhere in particular. I wasn't supposed to be important to anyone. And that's not something that can really change, even without mushi around. [A very slight shrug.] I only exist because I do.

_{[Heather at least has the (strained, admittedly) decency to let him reach a pause in his spiel before speaking up, but her talons curl into quaking fists as he goes on.]

[Finally, when she finishes, she gives him the most venomous glare she can muster while her eyes are as shiny as they are.]}

Your life is important to ME!

[Under different circumstances, that might be sort of weirdly comforting to hear, if strange and foreign and kind of alarming. But right now he just feels like he's been punched in the chest.

He screwed up. He wasn't supposed to let this happen, he wasn't supposed to let anyone become actually invested in what happens to him, but he messed up and he let it happen and now...

Ginko glances only briefly at Heather, and he cringes at the look on her face and stares at the ground instead, his shoulders pulling up until they almost brush the tips of his drooping ears.]

...I'm sorry.

_{[GOD DAMMIT GINKO!! GOD DAMMIT.]}

Sorry? You're sorry?

Well, you SHOULD be!

Sorry for acting like it doesn't matter what happens to you!

It doesn't. It never has, and it never will. Nothing can change that.

[His voice is quiet and tired, almost apologetic, and he shrinks in on himself a little more. He wants to just stop talking, to end this conversation here and maybe just never think about it again but he knows it doesn't work that way. He made a mistake walking away from Henry and the twins, he knows that just cutting everything off won't take back what he's already said.

He shouldn't have said anything at all, and now he just wants to carry this out to wherever it's going and... he doesn't know what. He really, really shouldn't have said anything.]

_{[The fact that he's curling in on himself like a wilting snail makes this hard. But not so hard that she's not going to do it.]

[When the words 'and it never will' leave Ginko's lips, Heather starts to move forward.]

[By the time 'that' is on its way out, she's already swinging one of her big black hands to backhand him viciously across the face.]}

[Backhanding a troll? Probably not the best decision, given that Ginko's face is covered in bits of rock.

But, even if it's likely to do more physical damage to Heather than to Ginko, the sudden impact comes as a complete surprise, jerking his head around to the side and knocking the burnt-out, chewed-up cigarette out of his mouth.

He doesn't turn back to her at first, staring down at the bed next to him, fingers curling into fists until his claws dig into the threadbare sheet. It's not clear immediately whether he's angry or just shocked, shoulders still tensed and hands shaking slightly.]

What--

_{[Yeah, it hadn't been a good idea at all.]

[She recoils sharply, reflexively-- and there's a few bright spots of blood left on the very tips of the crystals jutting from Ginko's face. A few more hit the floor as she shakes her claws, biting back a hiss of pain.]

[There's at least a couple of tears leaking out of her eyes now, but she doesn't care enough to hide them.]}

That's for being such a dumbass!

_{[YEAH THAT'S RIGHT GINKO SHE SLAPPED THAT CIGARETTE RIGHT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT?]}

[He finally turns to face her, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly as he fights back the last of the surge of aggression that kicked up at being hit. His instincts may say to fight back, but... he doesn't want to. He barely even knows why this is happening, and he doesn't want to acknowledge, even if he can guess well enough by now why she's so angry.

After that last bit of uncertainty, all that shows on his face for a moment is shock and confusion.]

But I--

[Then he catches sight of the blood dripping from her claws, and once again latches onto an excuse to think about something other than his own problems. He's only silent for a moment before standing up, still avoiding looking her in the eye.]

You're bleeding. Just a second.

[His voice is a little closer to its usual quiet, matter-of-fact tone, even if it's a little forced. He moves to step around her, headed for his bag of supplies.]

_{[Is he really going to-- yep. Of course he is.]

[God dammit, why does he have to be so much like Dad?]

[Heather forces out a scoff, hands returning to her hips, blood and all.]}

That doesn't matter! Who cares?

If it doesn't matter when YOU bleed, then it doesn't matter when I bleed! And you can't argue with me. 'Cuz I say so. I just know.

That logic can go both ways, see?!

[He crouches over his bag, back turned to her, and doesn't so much as look up from searching through it as he replies.]

It's not the same.

_{[How dare he not even look at her!! THE FUCKING NERVE.]

[She takes an ANGRY HOP in his direction.]}

No, it's exactly the same!

You don't know anything about where I came from! How the hell do YOU know my case isn't exactly like yours?

What makes YOU so fuckin' special, that it DOESN'T MATTER WHEN YOU DIE?

[He finally straightens up and turns to look at her, weariness showing clearly in his expression.]

I don't know if my situation is 'special' or anything. In fact, that's part of the problem - that phrasing sort of implies that there's actually something important about me. In any case, I know for a fact that your situation isn't exactly the same as mine. You've said enough for me to determine that.

No, the phrasing of 'everyone matters EXCEPT for me, I'm the only one who doesn't' is what implies that there's something important about you!

I haven't said JACK SHIT and neither have you!

So tell me!

Tell me and I'll tell YOU!

Yes, you have. You've told me about your father, you've told me some about your life before all this, and that's enough for me to know that it's not the same.

You're not going to manage to completely screw up something as simple as having a family, because you're actually meant to. I'm not. It's never been my place to try, I never had any right to get this involved in your life or anyone else's, and this just goes to prove it-- every time I've ever tried to actually do anything like this, to find a way to matter, I just make things worse. People end up getting hurt, it always goes wrong, and--

[He trails off, clenching his jaw shut and staring down at the floor again. That was way more than he had meant to say.]

Edited 2015-05-28 19:55 (UTC)

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