foolishwren | 105. FOURTH WALL POST [Action for Saffron City, anywhere in Saffron City! Video's okay too]

Agh. Why is this grass so long? I thought humans were supposed to trim the stuff!

[~~Bitched~~ Complained the enormous robot as he waded towards the sidewalk through the admittedly really long grass.

What? There are some seriously tall pokemon that hide in there sometimes. It's totally legit.
20 feet of bushy green legitimacy right here.]

_{[Well, it goes without saying that Heather is used to seeing some seriously weird shit go down on these strange weekends. The Koolaid Man showed up once, for crying out loud.]

[But in her experience, giant crashing footsteps either mean giants, or robots.]

[And usually, for whatever reason, WITH HER IT'S ROBOTS.]

[Needless to say, she stands up with a frown and the intention to investigate...]

[and then she sees a giant red-eyed robot in high-heels fuss his way out of the tall grass.]

[WELLP.]}

.... Aw, crud.

_{[WHY IS HE EVEN BIGGER THAN SHE REMEMBERS?!]}

[Starscream's head whips around at the voice, and his eyes narrow.]

You.

[Looks like he remembers you too, kid.]

[An elegant leg parts the grass like Jessica Rabbit's limb through the slit of her long dress. Except, oh god, the entire bottom of that metal foot is coated in gore, bone fragments, and the rainbow colours of what used to be the local fauna.]

Edited 2013-06-03 23:10 (UTC)

[The toe of one metal stiletto touches the edge of the sidewalk, but before Starscream can finish stepping out of the grass the world flashes black and white for a moment.

Oh no, I hope no epileptic children are around.]

Wha-?

[Suddenly this starts to play.]

Where's that music coming from?

[A silhouette emerges from the grass.]

And who are you?

[Demands McWhiny.]

"KSJHD"

[Says the figure as it materialises, padding regally out of the flora.]

_{[Not that Starscream has much of any reason to care about something that's about the size of a beetle to him, but although definitely recognizable, Heather looks quite different. A little older, a little tougher, a little tanner.]

[But that 'OH SHIT' face she makes when he locks eyes with her and utters that single word is pretty much... exactly the same.]}

Shit.

_{[She takes a step or two back, running over a mental tally of her roster-- she's got some bruisers, but... something that can fight HIM? When he's all in COLOSSUS mode?! Not likely.]

[... Carousel, maybe, she already used the Rapidash to defeat the Steel-type gym...]

[But then her questions are answered for her.]

[When the embodiment of lightning itself steps out of the grass.]

[An even BIGGER OH SHIT face replaces the one from before. Because she remembers what happened the last time the Legendary Beasts were out and on the prowl. IT WAS BAD NEWS BEARS ALL AROUND.]

[S-STARSCREAM YOU MIGHT WANNA RUN]}

... Right.

[There's no real explanation for it, but of the two, Starscream apparently has higher movement stats so he gets to attack first... And attack he does.

Pulling back one exquisitely sculpted leg, Starscream treats Raikou the same way he treats every other animal and minor annoyance that comes his way...

And punts the critter across the park.]

[That done, he turns back to Heather, completely unconcerned.]

Now where were we~~?

_{[--... well that didn't last long, although Heather knows better than most that pissing a Legendary off is not a good idea. DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT THING WAS BEFORE YOU KICKED IT, STARSCREAM?]

[STILL, THE BIGGEST PROBLEM CURRENTLY AT HAND IS LITERALLY STARSCREAM HIMSELF. And she backs away.]

[Because man, you know, she remembers sassing him to hell and back in that dark city, but he was a lot smaller back then.]}

Well hi there!

Aren't YOU looking huge and shiny today!

_{[is that how you compliment a robot? 'shiny'?]}

[Not knowing what something was has never stopped him from kicking first, asking questions later.]

Do you like it?

[He preens.]

Gaze upon the true majesty of Commander Starscream; ~in all his glory~.

[He does a little turn on the catwalk, wings flicking saucily.]

_{[<8I STARSCREAM.... SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?]}

I guess I PROBABLY should've known you'd be like a skyscraper on stripper legs, but to be fair, I completely forgot about you until right now.... sooooooooooo...

_{[She pulls out her PokeGear, a slightly more sophisticated-looking gadget than the ones they'd been given in Abax.]}

Mind posin' for a picture for old times' sake?

_{[She holds the 'Gear up. PRETTY PLEASE? WASTE TIME POSING SO THAT SHE CAN HAVE TIME TO RUN.]}.

"Stripper..."

You keep saying that word...

[He waves the word away (much like he does with every other nickname he's accrued over the years).]

Whatever.

We still have unfinished business, you and I, Heather.

But fine, we've got time for a photo.

Make it quick.

[He poses:

]

_{[UNFINISHED BUSINESS. Ohhh, she does not like the sound of that.]

[... but on the other hand... she can't believe that worked.]

[Obligingly, she holds up the 'Gear as though she's about to snap a shot.]}

Oookay, hold that pose...!

_{[And then she is fucking gone. Running like a bat outta hell.]

[She's pretty sure the unfinished business is gonna happen one way or another (she might be fast but she's not DELUSIONAL), but a-at least she can get a head start!]}

[He holds that pose, puffed up proudly... until he realises what just happened.

Kiddo... N-no. No, Kiddo, No.
The only thing that rivals his wingspan (besides his ego) is his stride. He's about 35 feet tall and his legs make up a good third of that height.

... It takes him under two steps to catch up with her.]

[It takes him two seconds to bend down and try to grab her.]

[For everything else, there's MasterCard.]

Edited 2013-06-07 04:38 (UTC)

_{[IT WAS KIND OF A DUMB PLAN OKAY BUT SHE COULDN'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE A DOPE.]

[To be fair, she IS pretty fast... but no, not fast enough to outrun a 35-foot-tall metal ostrich.]

[When his giant hand DESCENDS FROM ON HIGH to snatch her up, she successfully dodges it at least once... but with great effort and a drastic reduction in speed. She can't exactly do that for long.]

[But hey-- it was worth a shot, right?]}

[Hands, huge, hard, all encompassing, and cold like death wrap around Heather's midsection.]

Are you sure you got a good shot?

_{[Her first impulse is to plant her hands against the giant metal fingers and just strain against it, but that obviously won't get her anywhere.]}

--I was TRYING to get all of you into the frame, but a close-up would be good to have too--!

_{[... And as usual her mouth is about ten miles ahead of her, for better or for worse.]}

Up close and personal, is it?

That reminds me of where I last left off with you...

[He draws it out with a dramatic pause, squeezing Heather a little tighter...]

I never finished loving you properly~~~

[And then Heather was pressed flat against his robot bosom. Again.
Yeah. That's right. MemeScream coming at you, hard and fast.]

Edited 2013-06-14 06:16 (UTC)

_{[--and then she was unceremoniously slammed against a big sheet of metal OW GODDAMMIT]

OW! You-- god friggin' shit, put me DOWN!

_{[IS IT BAD THAT SHE ALMOST PREFERS HIM BEING HOMICIDAL?]

[oh god did she chip a tooth? she's pretty sure she chipped a tooth.]}}

Edited 2013-06-15 04:20 (UTC)

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1/?

Seizure warning 2/?

The soundtrack for this evening, m'am 3/?

4/?

5/5

=oh my god I am dying

http://www.plurk.com/p/ipdlw0 1/2

It's time to D-d-d-d-duel! - 2/3

Wait for it...

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1/?

2/3

3/3

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There's a joke here about how far he can spread his legs... except it's all true

we all know he practices (also icon keywords relevant)

And yet, Megatron STILL doesn't appreciate him.

ugh, MEN, amirite?

Yes, exactly! Finally, someone that understands----- wait. [1/2]

Re: ugh, MEN, amirite?

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