foolishwren | 105. FOURTH WALL POST [Action for Saffron City, anywhere in Saffron City! Video's okay too]

_{[Not that Starscream has much of any reason to care about something that's about the size of a beetle to him, but although definitely recognizable, Heather looks quite different. A little older, a little tougher, a little tanner.]

[But that 'OH SHIT' face she makes when he locks eyes with her and utters that single word is pretty much... exactly the same.]}

Shit.

_{[She takes a step or two back, running over a mental tally of her roster-- she's got some bruisers, but... something that can fight HIM? When he's all in COLOSSUS mode?! Not likely.]

[... Carousel, maybe, she already used the Rapidash to defeat the Steel-type gym...]

[But then her questions are answered for her.]

[When the embodiment of lightning itself steps out of the grass.]

[An even BIGGER OH SHIT face replaces the one from before. Because she remembers what happened the last time the Legendary Beasts were out and on the prowl. IT WAS BAD NEWS BEARS ALL AROUND.]

[S-STARSCREAM YOU MIGHT WANNA RUN]}

... Right.

[There's no real explanation for it, but of the two, Starscream apparently has higher movement stats so he gets to attack first... And attack he does.

Pulling back one exquisitely sculpted leg, Starscream treats Raikou the same way he treats every other animal and minor annoyance that comes his way...

And punts the critter across the park.]

[That done, he turns back to Heather, completely unconcerned.]

Now where were we~~?

_{[--... well that didn't last long, although Heather knows better than most that pissing a Legendary off is not a good idea. DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT THING WAS BEFORE YOU KICKED IT, STARSCREAM?]

[STILL, THE BIGGEST PROBLEM CURRENTLY AT HAND IS LITERALLY STARSCREAM HIMSELF. And she backs away.]

[Because man, you know, she remembers sassing him to hell and back in that dark city, but he was a lot smaller back then.]}

Well hi there!

Aren't YOU looking huge and shiny today!

_{[is that how you compliment a robot? 'shiny'?]}

[Not knowing what something was has never stopped him from kicking first, asking questions later.]

Do you like it?

[He preens.]

Gaze upon the true majesty of Commander Starscream; ~in all his glory~.

[He does a little turn on the catwalk, wings flicking saucily.]

_{[<8I STARSCREAM.... SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?]}

I guess I PROBABLY should've known you'd be like a skyscraper on stripper legs, but to be fair, I completely forgot about you until right now.... sooooooooooo...

_{[She pulls out her PokeGear, a slightly more sophisticated-looking gadget than the ones they'd been given in Abax.]}

Mind posin' for a picture for old times' sake?

_{[She holds the 'Gear up. PRETTY PLEASE? WASTE TIME POSING SO THAT SHE CAN HAVE TIME TO RUN.]}.

"Stripper..."

You keep saying that word...

[He waves the word away (much like he does with every other nickname he's accrued over the years).]

Whatever.

We still have unfinished business, you and I, Heather.

But fine, we've got time for a photo.

Make it quick.

[He poses:

]

_{[UNFINISHED BUSINESS. Ohhh, she does not like the sound of that.]

[... but on the other hand... she can't believe that worked.]

[Obligingly, she holds up the 'Gear as though she's about to snap a shot.]}

Oookay, hold that pose...!

_{[And then she is fucking gone. Running like a bat outta hell.]

[She's pretty sure the unfinished business is gonna happen one way or another (she might be fast but she's not DELUSIONAL), but a-at least she can get a head start!]}

[He holds that pose, puffed up proudly... until he realises what just happened.

Kiddo... N-no. No, Kiddo, No.
The only thing that rivals his wingspan (besides his ego) is his stride. He's about 35 feet tall and his legs make up a good third of that height.

... It takes him under two steps to catch up with her.]

[It takes him two seconds to bend down and try to grab her.]

[For everything else, there's MasterCard.]

Edited 2013-06-07 04:38 (UTC)

_{[IT WAS KIND OF A DUMB PLAN OKAY BUT SHE COULDN'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE A DOPE.]

[To be fair, she IS pretty fast... but no, not fast enough to outrun a 35-foot-tall metal ostrich.]

[When his giant hand DESCENDS FROM ON HIGH to snatch her up, she successfully dodges it at least once... but with great effort and a drastic reduction in speed. She can't exactly do that for long.]

[But hey-- it was worth a shot, right?]}

[Hands, huge, hard, all encompassing, and cold like death wrap around Heather's midsection.]

Are you sure you got a good shot?

_{[Her first impulse is to plant her hands against the giant metal fingers and just strain against it, but that obviously won't get her anywhere.]}

--I was TRYING to get all of you into the frame, but a close-up would be good to have too--!

_{[... And as usual her mouth is about ten miles ahead of her, for better or for worse.]}

Up close and personal, is it?

That reminds me of where I last left off with you...

[He draws it out with a dramatic pause, squeezing Heather a little tighter...]

I never finished loving you properly~~~

[And then Heather was pressed flat against his robot bosom. Again.
Yeah. That's right. MemeScream coming at you, hard and fast.]

Edited 2013-06-14 06:16 (UTC)

_{[--and then she was unceremoniously slammed against a big sheet of metal OW GODDAMMIT]

OW! You-- god friggin' shit, put me DOWN!

_{[IS IT BAD THAT SHE ALMOST PREFERS HIM BEING HOMICIDAL?]

[oh god did she chip a tooth? she's pretty sure she chipped a tooth.]}}

Edited 2013-06-15 04:20 (UTC)

[He gives her a jaunty pat on the back. (It probably hurts just a bit. But hey, some people are into that. Starscream certainly is...)]

Now, if I remember correctly, we were engaged in the loving action of kissing one another.

So tell me Heather, are you puckered yet?

I've heard it's better when you close your eyes~.

_{[NOOOOO NOPE NOPE NOPE NOOOPE]}

Oh you GOTTA be kiddin' me!

_{[Except she knows he isn't, because she's not rally sure he has that particular sense of humor tucked away anywhere in his black, shriveled little soul. Or spark. Whatever.]

[But in any case, she remembers this happening already, and she has NO desire for giant robot smooches, so without further ado (and presumably as his monstrous head descends in her general direction), she grabs a small, red-and-white ball out of her pocket.]

[And prays that this will work.]

[In a flash of blinding white light, Starscream will be met with a semi-corporeal purple mass of rubbery spectral jello to the face.]}

[Starscream doesn't see the tiny ball nor the flash of light because he's too busy following his own advice. With closed eyes, he leans down for a long, deep, passionate kiss... as a dude with no tongue. How that would work we just don't know.]

[We will continue to not know because when he tries to connect with his intended target, he is met instead with something that can best be describes as feeling like space-jello.]

Wha-HRK!?

[It's got the consistency of space-jello too, Starscream finds out, as he accidentally inhales it with a startled inward gasp.]

HRK!!

[Oh gross, it even tastes like space jello.]

_{[If Heather had ever wondered whether or not robots had gag reflexes, her question would have been answered today. But, unsurprisingly, she's never wondered whether or not robots have gag reflexes.]

[MEANWHILE, INSIDE STARSCREAM:]

[A pair of glowing red eyes pop open. There are many ways to be rudely awakened from a nap, but probably the rudest is being flung out of your house and IMMEDIATELY INHALED BY SOMETHING.]

[Starscream will immediately be aware of a very disgruntled, semi-nasal voice drifting through his possibly-panicked mind.]}

... wat da FUK is dis shit?!

[You know, a lot of robots DO in fact have gag reflexes. Why? That's none of your business. Starscream on the other hand is apparently pretty good at choking things down though, but really, you'd be lying if you said you were anything but surprised.]

W-What? [he sputters]

What was that?

[Crazed eyes turn to Heather and he gives her a little shake.]

WHAT WAS THAT?

[The shaking starts to get worse...]

ANSWER ME, HUMAN!

_{[Eyes wide, Heather can't make much of a response with her voice literally shaken away. But fortunately for her (because the physical trauma of being SHAKEN by a building-sized airplane gjinka is enough to effectively snap her head right off her spine if it goes on long enough, which isn't very long at all), the shaking will abruptly still to a mere jitter.]

[Starscream will find that his arm is simply not responding to the commands he's giving it.]

[Again, the voice will float through his mind, this time tinged with a hint of wonder.]}

Wat...

Dis... dis is some trippy SHIT.

_{[And then, quite independently of Starscream, the non-Heather-holding-hand will lift itself up and splay in front of his eyes, turning this way and that.]}

DAYUM!

UH...

No. No, don't do that. Hand, no. Down, arm.

[Quite luckily for Heather's spine, the girl is temporarily forgotten as Starscream starts to literally talk to the hand.]

Arm, I command you to lower yourself immediately. This is the rest of your body speaking, and I did not give you permission to act independently, no, stop. Yes, I know we have elegantly crafted hands, I was just telling the human such, but now is NOT the time.

[Turning to Heather sheepishly:]

This uh, this doesn't usually happen...

105. FOURTH WALL POST [Action for Saffron City, anywhere in Saffron City! Video's okay too]

=oh my god I am dying

http://www.plurk.com/p/ipdlw0 1/2

It's time to D-d-d-d-duel! - 2/3

Wait for it...

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1/?

2/3

3/3

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There's a joke here about how far he can spread his legs... except it's all true

we all know he practices (also icon keywords relevant)

And yet, Megatron STILL doesn't appreciate him.

ugh, MEN, amirite?

Yes, exactly! Finally, someone that understands----- wait. [1/2]

Re: ugh, MEN, amirite?

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Let me know if this is okay, hahahahaaaaaaa

UR GOOD BRO :Ib

He swallows

he would. (also let me know if this is okay)

Gonna just straight up give you 100% mod powers. Gengar Leveled up!

OKAY AWESOME

Heather became banana phone

ring ring ring ring ring BANANA PHONE

Let's hope he doesn't try to unpeel her, this time

yep that would be good

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1/?

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Because no WAY did Starscream win THAT battle 4/4

NOPE

Remember when I said "wait for it"