[Action in the ~*~Goldenrod Department Store~*~] FOURTH WALL EVENT POST

[foolishwren]

<sub>[OOC: HI GUYS. As per usual with my TL;DR event posts, reading this is more or less optional. All you need to know is that Heather's in the Goldenrod City Department Store, and that you are free to bother her in ANY WAY YOU SEE FIT, anywhere in the store.
Posts on my end might be a little slow, but I AM online and will be replying to every tag!
Out-of-game dudes, welcome to Route for the weekend! I hope you enjoy your stay, and hope that maybe we'll be snagging a few of you for good. ;)]





[Well, Saturday came, and despite the injuries and wreckage accumulated at the Department Store from the aftermath of that robbery, a big mall can't staff itself! As such, the employees have all been respectfully ordered to come back and help with cleaning things up, because god forbid they close the store for a few days!]

[And so, wearing her stupid little employee uniform, a tired Heather got up early with her newly-recovered Pokemon in-pocket (she didn't normally take them to work with her, but given the events there, she was feeling less confident about the prospect of being without them in case of an emergency. And besides, she sort of wanted to spoil them a little bit for all they'd been through), and made her way morosely to the big shiny building.]

[The whole way, Cujo pranced and gamboled around her, completely oblivious to his Trainer's sour mood.]

[She shoved the revolving door a little harder than necessary and went through it, taking care not to let the simple-minded Growlithe get stuck in the turnstyle.]

[And gueeeessss who was right there waiting in the lobby for her, surrounded by bustling janitors carrying around busted vending machines and sweeping up rubble?]</sub>


ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP!

BACK IN MY DAY, SNOTTY KIDS WHO TOOK TOO MUCH TIME OFF OF WORK WERE FLOGGED AND PUBLICLY HUMILIATED!



.... And back in your day, the elderly fell behind and got eaten by saber-toothed tigers...


WHAT WAS THAT?!


Ugh... nothing...


I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR LIP. MY DELICATE HEART CANNOT ABIDE SUCH DISRESPECT. GO HELP THE JANITORS ON THE SECOND FLOOR BEFORE YOUR INSOLENCE BEGINS TO ENDANGER MY HEALTH.



Yes, ma'am...


AND GET THAT FILTHY MUTT IN A POKEBALL IMMEDIATELY!!


_{[Making a sour face, Heather promptly flipped the old bat off as she went huffing away to scream at someone else who didn't deserve it.]}


Don't listen to 'er, Cooj. You might be a filthy mutt, but she's a bitch and that's ten times worse. We gotta stop at the laundry room first. I'll let you chew on one of her skirts.

_{[Cujo panted up at her happily, having absolutely no idea that the supervisor had called him anything, and promptly walked into a potted plant because he wasn't watching where he was going.]}

~*~

 

<sub>[The employee laundry room yawned ominously away from the doorway, its gray-green basement lights buzzing in that ugly way that old, out-of-date electronics that no higher-up has felt necessary to replace so often do. The gaps between the tiles here were always wet, and filled with that gritty mush that resulted when bits of powdered laundry detergent spilled onto a damp floor and was allowed to sit. The whole place smelled like stagnant water from the machine in the corner that was always broken and filled up with cloudy water that nobody bothered to drain for weeks.]

[Old uniforms were strewn across the floor like corpses of long-forgotten staff members who had been trapped down here and died horribly.]</sub>


... Same old, same old...


_{[Heather sighed and stepped in, her boots skidding slightly on the soapscum-covered floor.]}

Don't eat anything I don't tell you is okay, Cooj.

_{[She leaned over the bin of clean uniforms, digging around in it with still-bandaged arms. She needed a new hat and didn't fancy getting screamed at for not having one if she was caught without it on the job.]}

Jesus, there can't be like fifty thousand clean shirts and no hats...


_{[Then she stopped and looked over her shoulder, brows furrowed. Cujo was standing stiffly behind her, his creamy hackles raised and normally-happy brown eyes wide and staring. A low, unsettled growl was drifting out of his throat and his stare was settled firmly on the employee lockers across the room. Swallowing, Heather withdrew from the bin slowly.]}

... What is it, boy?


<sub>[The growl increased in volume, and Heather frowned worriedly, following his gaze.]

[The source of his anxiety became clear instantly.]

[The door to Locker no. 9 was rattling gently, occasionally thumping. There was something inside it. Trying to get out.]

[The hairs on the back of Heather's neck stood up.]

[... It's... it's deja vu all over again...]


[The rattling was replaced by an insistent, metallic banging. Heather gulped, and reached out to pick up a nearby metal laundry basket.]</sub>

Stay here, Cooj...

_{[Slowly, warily, she approached the locker. As though sensing her nearing presence, the banging became louder and more violent. Adamant. Biting her lip, Heather reached out with a bandaged hand... and opened the locker.]}


--AAAUGH!



<sub>[The laundry basket went clanging to the floor as Heather fell backwards, knocked onto the damp, gritty floor as whatever was in the locker came lunging out at her like a desperate predator, barreling its warm weight into her chest and knocking her off-balance. Cujo erupted into a frenzy of barking and whimpering, knocking over the laundry bin as he turned in alarmed circles.]

[Heather thrashed on the floor, throwing the attacker off in the process and struggling to sit up defensively, teeth bared.]</sub>

I-- GET OFF! I'LL-- You-- .... uh. .... Huh?


_{[The attacker wagged its little cinnamon-bun of a tail, the speaker on its headphones giving out a cheery little crackle of static.]}

ARF!

Comments

[Action] :D

[so-very-creepy.livejournal.com]

...(walks past Heather slowly)..........

[Action] GET OUT, ROBBIE

[foolishwren]

<sub>[So, Heather had been put to work mopping up flood damage from broken water pipes up on the third floor. She's doing so ANGRILY, fresh out of a long bitching session from the Evil Bitch-Monster of Death (aka her supervisor), and she's busy glaring down at the floor as she swirls the mop over it, and pretending that the floor is her supervisor's face]

[And so... she doesn't notice the fact that what she assumes is just another department store employee walking past behind her has a giant bloody pink rabbit head.]

[... But Cujo notices.]

[The pup is sitting beside her, and as Robbie walks past, he sits bolt upright, hackles standing up.]

[.... D8> WHINE WHINE WHIIIIIIIIIINE.]</sub>

[action]

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

[YOU KNOW AND LOVE THIS GUY]

[Except you don't. As he is older and in a uniform. (http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b284/Naoko_Youko/pliskin01.jpg)]

[And wearing a strikingly similar headset around his neck, god forbid it interfere with his hair.]

...Did that thing just come out of that locker?

[action]

[foolishwren]

_{[~*~PIME TARADOX~*~!!!!]}

Wh-- LIQUID?

_{[What was HE doing following her to work? Had ... had something happened? ... Or maybe he was just here to yell at her for going back to her job before her arms had finished healing. Whatever...]}

Uh-- well, YEAH, I mean... it just... someone must've put it in there as a jok-- ....

... Dude, what's with the goofy costume?

[sorabug.livejournal.com]

PUPPIES!

[foolishwren]

<sub>[HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT SUDDEN CAPSLOCK CHILD BEHIND HER AUGH.]

[Heather lets out a startled yelp and leaps to her feet so quickly that she almost falls over again, spinning around.]</sub>

I-- ... Wh-- .... uh? ... Kid, what're you doing in here? <sub>[Dude, this was why there was a rule posted stating that shopping moms weren't supposed to let their children wander around unattended, seriously, what if this little guy wandered in here while there weren't any employees around and drowned in a washing machine or something? ... Hey... he looks kinda familiar...]



[BUT. The puppies are instantly interested.]</sub>


ARF ARF!


_{[Have an adorable little shiba inu in a headset licking your face, Sora. Cujo is still a little too busy wigging out, but he'll join in soon!]}

sob I'm sorry

[taaaaank.livejournal.com]

[you know that frumpy department store music that sort of reminds you of if a chimpanzee in an ascot bashed his fists against a piano? well, it's suddenly changing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhiGnj7QX2A). and by the doorway is the fattest fat man to ever walk the face of Johto, grunting and flailing angrily to himself like an animal. he hasn't spotted you yet, Heather, but he will.]

SDGHLSD;LG;LG OH MY GOD WHOEVER YOU ARE, I LOVE YOU

[foolishwren]

<sub>[So, Heather's just mindin' her own business, stocking some shelves, you know, the usual. Cujo has run off with the 'new puppy', who doesn't LOOK like a Pokemon, but who the hell knows, maybe it's just one she'd never seen before and someone had left it in that locker to be funny. Gnyar.]

[And, uh... then the music changes. From the usual tacky department store music to something that sounds like it should be from a tense scene in an Indiane Jones movie.]

[Heather pauses in her PokeBall-stacking (Q: How do you stack PokeBalls? A: Very carefully.) in order to look up at the ceiling and give the embedded circular speakers a very weird look.]</sub>

What the heck're they doing, trying to inject more drama and intrigue into our jobs or something? It's not working...


<sub>[And... and then she hears the grunting. And, although she happens to be from a completely different survival horror franchise, some sound effects are just universal. She turns to look at the doorway slowly.]

[.... Oh. My. God. Someone found an Insane Cancer... and then gave it steroids.]


[.... I am so fucked.]

[She starts to BACK AWAY. SLOWLY.]</sub>

don't question 4th wall day, she's here okay

[oldestfriend.livejournal.com]

Heh. I think that was Del's idea.

<sub>[Oh hey, what's this? A familiar voice that's kind of behind Heather? A figure suddenly leans over, looking upside down probably from Heather's point of view, and grins down at the blonde.

Dee wiggles her fingers.]</sub> Hiya.

SHE'S DEATH, SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS.

[foolishwren]

<sub>[And naturally, the sudden upside-down Dee face leaning over her gives the already-startled Heather another mild fright. She lets out a yelp and starts to scoot away-- only to stop when she realizes who it is.]

[HUGE sigh of relief.]</sub>

JESUS. Don't SCARE me like that!

_{[She sits up, making a noise as she swipes at the back of her uniform-- it's got laundry detergent grit all over it now, ewwww.]}

What're you doin' in here? I thought you were all the way back in like... somewhere really far back.


<sub>[Meanwhile, Mira is happily sitting in front of Dee, little cinnabon tail wagging. HELLO FELLOW ILLOGICAL AND TIMELESS BEING. ARF. 8)]

[Cujo is a little less dignified and is busy getting to know Dee by snorfling all over her shoes.]</sub>

[baseball-to-be.livejournal.com]

[And who's wandering around nearby? Why, it's just... uh... a very strange-looking young-man with bi-coloured hair.

He has no idea where he is, but at least he has his gun.]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Do de do, work~]

[Heather's manning the register, with Cujo and his ~*~NEW BEST PUPPY FRIEND~*~ curled at her feet underneath.]

[Today has been... uh... kinda weird so far. But there's still customers coming, and therefore, she's still expected to stay on the job. ... THAT guy looks nervous, though... and... is that ... is that a gun?]

[Oh hell no. Heather likes her guns, but after that disaster with the Joker basically beating up the whole building, she is not down with some twitchy-fingered guy walking into a store with a gun... isn't that how all those news stories of workplace shootings start.]</sub>

Hey. Hey you!

[whimsical-river.livejournal.com]

_{[Have a strange teenage girl, sort of looking at you. There's an Espeon by her side. She doesn't seem at all surprised to be there.]}

It's nice and quiet here. I can only hear what people say. Though someone's singing in the background.

_{[There's a pause, and she just kind of stands there, tilting her head curiously.]} I like your dog.

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Whoa hey. Random... um, girl.]

[Heather was on her way out of the laundry room, both dogs at her heels. Cujo is busy sniffing the hell out of the newcomer.]

[Heather's brows furrow a little. She can tell something is... just a tad off, in that way that people who were (or ONCE were) similarly 'off'.]</sub>

Hey, there... Thanks. Uh... didja get lost or something? This's an Employees Only area...

[notimhotep.livejournal.com]

[OH HI HEATHER. Just silently judging you over here, no problem.]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[STOCKIN' SHELVES, CHECKIN' EXPIRATION DATES, DO DE DO. ... Uh.]

[Heather pauses, suddenly aware of a gaze on her back. Frowning slightly, she turns around. ... Oh, great... one of those creepy customers with the impenetrable stares. If this were just any other day and she was in the mall on her own, she'd have given him a great big 'I'm watching you' glare and walked off, or maybe told him to go fuck himself if he was especially creepy.]

[BUT, she's still on shift, and as such she's expected to be professional to the customers.]</sub>

Can I help you, sir?

[action]

[walkwithbob.livejournal.com]

_{[Have this guy staring at you ominously from a corner.]}

[action]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[... Creeper radar going off. Creeper radar going off. CREEPER RADAR GOING OFF.]

[When you had to deal with a person like Stanley? You got pretty good at detecting friggin' weirdos.]

[Heather turns around, an unnerved grimace on her face, and at her feet, Cujo is growling all over again.]

[Oh GOD. As if this room wasn't creepy enough WITHOUT weird grinning maniacs STANDING IN THE CORNER.]</sub>


... The hell're you? Get the fuck out.

[trollslikeaboss.livejournal.com]

[SUDDENLY HOBO WALKING PAST THE DOORWAY.

...Huh. Doesn't he look like that guy who got poisoned the other day? And why is he turning back and--]

Hey, is that a dog right there? Heheh, looks like Missile..

[foolishwren]

<sub>[YES PHOENIX. IT IS A DOG. YOU ARE THE SMARTEST PERSON.]

[The pup in question-- followed by a still barking Cujo-- immediately run over to investigate hobo-Wright's pant legs for interesting smells-- and yes, the Missile-lookalike is equipped with a mic and a set of headphones. Why? Nobody knows.]

[Heather whips around to see who the speaker is, and then her eyes widen.]</sub>

Wh-- PHOENIX?

Aren't you-- dude, I thought you were still recov--

What're you doing here?


<sub>[A pause.]




[.... snicker.]</sub> Nice hat, lawyer-man.

actionish, i guess, maybe, stfu im british, logic fail

[usednastyplot.livejournal.com]

[He would comment on your odd fear of cute and cuddly dogs Heather but he's ignoring his communication device and all its streaming in favor of running through the door and onto the first floor of the Department Store to hide from the damn hydra (http://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/8/89/635Sazandora.png) that's chasing him.]

<3333

[foolishwren]

<sub>[It's not dogs, it's LOCKERS FFFFHH. But in any case.]

[Finally equipped with +1 new hat, Heather is exiting the Employee's only area and climbing up the stairs, back to the first floor, with a pair of adorable orange-and-white pooches at her heels.]

[But... needless to say, she exits the door to the stairwell juuuuust as Artemis is sprinting past it.]</sub>


SDGHO;DLGLSFGL;G

_{[Heather and Artemis, meet floor. It is very happy to make your acquaintance. WHAM.]}

[memoryboss.livejournal.com]

_{[Have a closer look Heather. There's something else standing in that open locker.]}

[foolishwren]

<sub>[She's getting back to her feet, brushing herself off and casting a dubious look at the little orange puff-ball that jumped her. Obviously someone thought it'd be funny to leave a Pokemon in there... jackasses...]

[She reaches over to close the locker again-- ...... no.]

[Eyes widening, she takes a step backwards.]</sub>



.... How...?



_{['SUP, METAPHORICAL REPRESENTATION OF MY PAST SELF. HOW'S IT HANGIN?}

[reasoningrhymes.livejournal.com]

[How this girl appeared back in Johto she doesn't know. All she knows is that she's in Goldenrod, in a department store and Heather has been bowled over by a Shiba Inu who is the master mind behind SH2]

Are you alright?

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Raaandom little girl in doorway-- well, she could always just be another employee, it wouldn't be TOO weird.]

[Heather sits up, rubbing her head.]</sub>

Ugh, yeah...


_{[The shiba inu who is the mastermind behind everything, secretly! grins a happy doggy smile and trots over to Rhyme. ARF ARF!]}

I'M NOT SORRY FOR THIS.

[thefrozenmemory.livejournal.com]

Heather...?

.... YOU SHOULD BE FFFFFFFFF

[foolishwren]

<sub>[... W-what? Where was that voice coming from?]

[Heather looks up from the wrecked tiling she's been told to put duct tape over until it can be fixed, brows furrowing.]</sub>

.... Dad?

[action] see see, I TOLD YOU I'LL BRING THE KOOL-AID <3

[ohyeaaaah.livejournal.com]

[Hey, Heather. You're in a neat Department Store, huh? You just met with Mira huh? Well, it's not that bad. I mean, it's just a dog. Alright, so, see that wall on your left hand side? Yeah, that one right there. The one with the plain white paint and posters promoting some lame ass concert. You see that? Alright, it looks normal, sturdy, just a like a normal wall-- OH SHIT SOMETHING JUST BROKE DOWN THE WALL BAM OH FUCK FUCK FUCK THERE'S PLASTER AND BRICKS GOING EVERYWHERE AND A GIANT FRUIT PUNCH IS STOMPING TOWARDS YOU OH GODDAMMIT]

[action] AND YOU DID NOT DISAPPOINT, BB <3

[foolishwren]

<sub>[You know, the funny thing is, Heather's been having such an unsettling and even downright horrifying day (that's been repeating in cycles, dream-style, over and over, though she doesn't know that yet), that she's honestly started getting so on-edge that it's almost like that horrible night in Silent Hill.]

[But you know what?]

[When this is all over, she's not going to have ANY trouble believing this was all just a really fucked-up dream, because the freaking Kool-Aid man showed up in it.]

[When the wall EXPLODES into chunks of plaster and dust, Heather whirls around, eyes the size of dinner plates, and ... just...]

[Her wail of WTF is somewhat lost under the volume and intensity of the giant punch-bowl's warcry, but it's THERE:]




WHAT THE FUUUUUUU---?!?!?!</sub>

[action]

[beware-of-bears.livejournal.com]

Miss Heather? Where are we?

[action]

[foolishwren]

_{[WHOA SUDDEN GIRL NEXT TO HER-- Heather almost drops the washcloth she'd been using to wipe down the soft drink counters--... hey. HEY. It's-- it's Kirsten! Who Heather hadn't even seen since-- ... well, jeez, months ago.]}

WHOA! Uh-- uhm-- this is the department store where I work-- where did you come from?!

[sorrynoturmom.livejournal.com]

[Hi Heather! This is just going to sit in the corner, all bloody and making strange gurgling pained noises. Have fun!]

L-LOL THIS WHOLE POST IS TURNING INTO 'let's make Heather think she's back in Silent Hill'

[foolishwren]

_{[So, it turns out that washing the deep-fryers and fridges and general food-prep areas of the food court? Not as easy (or nice) a job as it sounds. Heather has been making no shortage of disgusted noises as she goes about this task, horrified at the sheer slobbiness of whoever normally works here and inwardly cursing the supervisor who tasked HER with this, instead.]}

UGH, some of this stuff has been here so long I wouldn't be surprised if it had evolved into sentient beings...

_{[She's down on her knees, scrubbing at the floor with a wimpy-looking sponge. She reaches the edge of the little kitchen area and shoulders aside the stove to reach behind it better-- ... and finds THAT.]}



.......






.... I so did not mean that literally.

[action]

[slobberful.livejournal.com]

Oh, my goodness! [Kneeling down next to that dog and petting it's head. Which is kind of odd, considering that the girl's got dog ears and a tail of her own. Whaaat.] You look just like Missile! Woooow! I wonder if you're brothers? Do you know a Missile, mister?

[Also, totally ignoring you, Heather. Dog is more important.]

[action]

[foolishwren]

_{[... hello there, um, dog girl.]}

... Uh... hi...


_{[Mira, meanwhile, tilts her cute little earphones-wearing head to the side and barks.]}

ARF!

[travelbycandy.livejournal.com]

[There is a Growlithe bounding over. :3 With a Sora not far behind.]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Dude, what is WITH today. Wheezing, she's taking a break from the combination of WTF and moronic tasks she's been ordered to do around the department store-- when another Growlithe comes bounding over!]

[Cujo lifts his head and starts barking!]</sub>


Whoa, easy th-- .... Sora?

_{[... Was he taller than she'd gotten used to him being?... DUDE. Was that the first...?]}

[action]

[usedgigadrain.livejournal.com]

[SUDDENLY! A blue and sharky Kisame having a staredown with a Sharpedo. SHARK POKEMON HELL YEAH. Give him a second to realize--]

...Heather-san? --ch' somewhere else again, I see.

[action]

[foolishwren]

_{[There are few things one expects less while stacking cans of Poke-chow than for a big blue dude and a shark to pop up next to you.]}


GYAAAAGGHH!

_{[Cans. Cans EVERYWHERE.]}

[Action]

[shibamastermind.livejournal.com]

[As if you haven't had enough trouble with an overload of supernatural puppies, here's another, trotting fearlessly, and with a rather cheerful air, right on up to you. And yes, it's the exact same shiba inu that is already there.

It doesn't seem to care that there's already a version of itself here. This was all planned, after all...]

Arf arf! [Mira says hi to Mira! And yes, that is upbeat techno music that can be heard through those headphones. Where is your God now?]

[Action]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Of course there were two Miras! Duh. Nothing surprises this shiba inu.]

[Mira trots over to Mira, her little cinnabon tail wagging.]

[SWEET TUNES BRO, WHERE'D YOU DOWNLOAD THOSE.]




[Heather, meanwhile, is just watching with a weirded out expression.]</sub>

... They're multiplying.

[Action]

[evilinuglydress.livejournal.com]

[Dante is a bit lost, having just arrived in Goldenrod in search of Envy. She didn't expect such a large city, so she picks the largest building and goes inside. She spots a girl who seemed to be working in the store and approaches with a gentle smile on her face.]

Oh, hello. Do you think you could help me, young lady? I just arrived in Goldenrod, and I'm quite lost. I need to find my son. He's got quite a distinctive look--green hair and violet eyes. His name is Envy. Have you seen him, perhaps?

[Action]

[foolishwren]

... Uh--

_{[Heather pauses in her shelf-stocking, blinking at this strange newcomer-- well, it IS Saturday after all.]}

Um-- I... know him...

But I couldn't tell you where he is. Haven't talked to him in a few days.

[neverapantyshot.livejournal.com]

[Don't mind Panty here, she's just looking for some condoms.

... And being very vocal about the lack of them.]

[foolishwren]

_{[... Oh, god... seemed bitchy nympho chicks were universal, even here... After a few minutes of listening to this ranting, Heather leeeaaaans around the shelf she's stocking.]}

Yo.

Pharmaceutical department, to your left. They should be on the shelf.

just reading this makes me miss you. *is Kaz-mun*

[aurajackal.livejournal.com]

[Sniggergiggle.]

D8 Aww, I miss you too? How you been?!

[foolishwren]

ARF ARF.

_{[BLUE DOG, MEET ORANGE DOG.]}

/Hopes he's not too odd a character

[breakuliquid.livejournal.com]

[Talib was very much not in a department store a moment ago.]

[He is quite sure he had been in Iraq, at his job.]

[The still-heated branding iron was in his hand, after all, and he can feel the weight of a bar of lye is his vest pocket.]

[Maybe this girl would know what is going on.]

[He had his pet to return to, after all.]

Excuse me...

[Have Liquid Snake's non-canon torturer, Heatherkins! He may have bloodstains on his shirt...]

pffft honey, the kool-aid man is chasing Heather around in another thread. You're fine. <3

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Heather is performing the ancient and noble duty of ~*~STOCKING SHELVES~*~. She's up on a ladder and is trying to make room for a set of Potions that AREN'T expired.]

[She looks down over her shoulder at Mr. Torturer down there.]</sub>

Yes?

Can I help you?


_{[... was that blood]}