Heather Mason (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
foolishwren) wrote2010-11-27 10:29 am
foolishwren) wrote2010-11-27 10:29 am
Entry tags:
- action,
- adventure time,
- all phobias: engage,
- bad memories,
- bitch be trippin' balls,
- boss fight,
- epic fail,
- event,
- fear for the flesh,
- fourth wall,
- fucking fuckity fuck,
- goldenrod city,
- goldenrod department store,
- growlithe,
- i've got a bad feeling about this,
- ic,
- image attached,
- it came from the black lagoon,
- it is a mystery,
- kshshhhhhhssfrrrzzzhhzhzlshhhshhkzfffffl,
- officially freaked-out now,
- what is this i don't even
[Action in the ~*~Goldenrod Department Store~*~] FOURTH WALL EVENT POST
[OOC: HI GUYS. As per usual with my TL;DR event posts, reading this is more or less optional. All you need to know is that Heather's in the Goldenrod City Department Store, and that you are free to bother her in ANY WAY YOU SEE FIT, anywhere in the store.
Posts on my end might be a little slow, but I AM online and will be replying to every tag!
Out-of-game dudes, welcome to Route for the weekend! I hope you enjoy your stay, and hope that maybe we'll be snagging a few of you for good. ;)]
[Well, Saturday came, and despite the injuries and wreckage accumulated at the Department Store from the aftermath of that robbery, a big mall can't staff itself! As such, the employees have all been respectfully ordered to come back and help with cleaning things up, because god forbid they close the store for a few days!]
[And so, wearing her stupid little employee uniform, a tired Heather got up early with her newly-recovered Pokemon in-pocket (she didn't normally take them to work with her, but given the events there, she was feeling less confident about the prospect of being without them in case of an emergency. And besides, she sort of wanted to spoil them a little bit for all they'd been through), and made her way morosely to the big shiny building.]
[The whole way, Cujo pranced and gamboled around her, completely oblivious to his Trainer's sour mood.]
[She shoved the revolving door a little harder than necessary and went through it, taking care not to let the simple-minded Growlithe get stuck in the turnstyle.]
[And gueeeessss who was right there waiting in the lobby for her, surrounded by bustling janitors carrying around busted vending machines and sweeping up rubble?]
ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP!
BACK IN MY DAY, SNOTTY KIDS WHO TOOK TOO MUCH TIME OFF OF WORK WERE FLOGGED AND PUBLICLY HUMILIATED!
.... And back in your day, the elderly fell behind and got eaten by saber-toothed tigers...
WHAT WAS THAT?!
Ugh... nothing...
I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR LIP. MY DELICATE HEART CANNOT ABIDE SUCH DISRESPECT. GO HELP THE JANITORS ON THE SECOND FLOOR BEFORE YOUR INSOLENCE BEGINS TO ENDANGER MY HEALTH.
Yes, ma'am...
AND GET THAT FILTHY MUTT IN A POKEBALL IMMEDIATELY!!
[Making a sour face, Heather promptly flipped the old bat off as she went huffing away to scream at someone else who didn't deserve it.]
Don't listen to 'er, Cooj. You might be a filthy mutt, but she's a bitch and that's ten times worse. We gotta stop at the laundry room first. I'll let you chew on one of her skirts.
[Cujo panted up at her happily, having absolutely no idea that the supervisor had called him anything, and promptly walked into a potted plant because he wasn't watching where he was going.]
[The employee laundry room yawned ominously away from the doorway, its gray-green basement lights buzzing in that ugly way that old, out-of-date electronics that no higher-up has felt necessary to replace so often do. The gaps between the tiles here were always wet, and filled with that gritty mush that resulted when bits of powdered laundry detergent spilled onto a damp floor and was allowed to sit. The whole place smelled like stagnant water from the machine in the corner that was always broken and filled up with cloudy water that nobody bothered to drain for weeks.]
[Old uniforms were strewn across the floor like corpses of long-forgotten staff members who had been trapped down here and died horribly.]
... Same old, same old...
[Heather sighed and stepped in, her boots skidding slightly on the soapscum-covered floor.]
Don't eat anything I don't tell you is okay, Cooj.
[She leaned over the bin of clean uniforms, digging around in it with still-bandaged arms. She needed a new hat and didn't fancy getting screamed at for not having one if she was caught without it on the job.]
Jesus, there can't be like fifty thousand clean shirts and no hats...
[Then she stopped and looked over her shoulder, brows furrowed. Cujo was standing stiffly behind her, his creamy hackles raised and normally-happy brown eyes wide and staring. A low, unsettled growl was drifting out of his throat and his stare was settled firmly on the employee lockers across the room. Swallowing, Heather withdrew from the bin slowly.]
... What is it, boy?
[The growl increased in volume, and Heather frowned worriedly, following his gaze.]
[The source of his anxiety became clear instantly.]
[The door to Locker no. 9 was rattling gently, occasionally thumping. There was something inside it. Trying to get out.]
[The hairs on the back of Heather's neck stood up.]
[... It's... it's deja vu all over again...]
[The rattling was replaced by an insistent, metallic banging. Heather gulped, and reached out to pick up a nearby metal laundry basket.]
Stay here, Cooj...
[Slowly, warily, she approached the locker. As though sensing her nearing presence, the banging became louder and more violent. Adamant. Biting her lip, Heather reached out with a bandaged hand... and opened the locker.]
--AAAUGH!
[The laundry basket went clanging to the floor as Heather fell backwards, knocked onto the damp, gritty floor as whatever was in the locker came lunging out at her like a desperate predator, barreling its warm weight into her chest and knocking her off-balance. Cujo erupted into a frenzy of barking and whimpering, knocking over the laundry bin as he turned in alarmed circles.]
[Heather thrashed on the floor, throwing the attacker off in the process and struggling to sit up defensively, teeth bared.]
I-- GET OFF! I'LL-- You-- .... uh. .... Huh?
[The attacker wagged its little cinnamon-bun of a tail, the speaker on its headphones giving out a cheery little crackle of static.]
ARF!
Posts on my end might be a little slow, but I AM online and will be replying to every tag!
Out-of-game dudes, welcome to Route for the weekend! I hope you enjoy your stay, and hope that maybe we'll be snagging a few of you for good. ;)]
[Well, Saturday came, and despite the injuries and wreckage accumulated at the Department Store from the aftermath of that robbery, a big mall can't staff itself! As such, the employees have all been respectfully ordered to come back and help with cleaning things up, because god forbid they close the store for a few days!]
[And so, wearing her stupid little employee uniform, a tired Heather got up early with her newly-recovered Pokemon in-pocket (she didn't normally take them to work with her, but given the events there, she was feeling less confident about the prospect of being without them in case of an emergency. And besides, she sort of wanted to spoil them a little bit for all they'd been through), and made her way morosely to the big shiny building.]
[The whole way, Cujo pranced and gamboled around her, completely oblivious to his Trainer's sour mood.]
[She shoved the revolving door a little harder than necessary and went through it, taking care not to let the simple-minded Growlithe get stuck in the turnstyle.]
[And gueeeessss who was right there waiting in the lobby for her, surrounded by bustling janitors carrying around busted vending machines and sweeping up rubble?]
ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP!
BACK IN MY DAY, SNOTTY KIDS WHO TOOK TOO MUCH TIME OFF OF WORK WERE FLOGGED AND PUBLICLY HUMILIATED!
.... And back in your day, the elderly fell behind and got eaten by saber-toothed tigers...
WHAT WAS THAT?!
Ugh... nothing...
I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR LIP. MY DELICATE HEART CANNOT ABIDE SUCH DISRESPECT. GO HELP THE JANITORS ON THE SECOND FLOOR BEFORE YOUR INSOLENCE BEGINS TO ENDANGER MY HEALTH.
Yes, ma'am...
AND GET THAT FILTHY MUTT IN A POKEBALL IMMEDIATELY!!
[Making a sour face, Heather promptly flipped the old bat off as she went huffing away to scream at someone else who didn't deserve it.]
Don't listen to 'er, Cooj. You might be a filthy mutt, but she's a bitch and that's ten times worse. We gotta stop at the laundry room first. I'll let you chew on one of her skirts.
[Cujo panted up at her happily, having absolutely no idea that the supervisor had called him anything, and promptly walked into a potted plant because he wasn't watching where he was going.]
~*~
[The employee laundry room yawned ominously away from the doorway, its gray-green basement lights buzzing in that ugly way that old, out-of-date electronics that no higher-up has felt necessary to replace so often do. The gaps between the tiles here were always wet, and filled with that gritty mush that resulted when bits of powdered laundry detergent spilled onto a damp floor and was allowed to sit. The whole place smelled like stagnant water from the machine in the corner that was always broken and filled up with cloudy water that nobody bothered to drain for weeks.]
[Old uniforms were strewn across the floor like corpses of long-forgotten staff members who had been trapped down here and died horribly.]
... Same old, same old...
[Heather sighed and stepped in, her boots skidding slightly on the soapscum-covered floor.]
Don't eat anything I don't tell you is okay, Cooj.
[She leaned over the bin of clean uniforms, digging around in it with still-bandaged arms. She needed a new hat and didn't fancy getting screamed at for not having one if she was caught without it on the job.]
Jesus, there can't be like fifty thousand clean shirts and no hats...
[Then she stopped and looked over her shoulder, brows furrowed. Cujo was standing stiffly behind her, his creamy hackles raised and normally-happy brown eyes wide and staring. A low, unsettled growl was drifting out of his throat and his stare was settled firmly on the employee lockers across the room. Swallowing, Heather withdrew from the bin slowly.]
... What is it, boy?
[The growl increased in volume, and Heather frowned worriedly, following his gaze.]
[The source of his anxiety became clear instantly.]
[The door to Locker no. 9 was rattling gently, occasionally thumping. There was something inside it. Trying to get out.]
[The hairs on the back of Heather's neck stood up.]
[... It's... it's deja vu all over again...]
[The rattling was replaced by an insistent, metallic banging. Heather gulped, and reached out to pick up a nearby metal laundry basket.]
Stay here, Cooj...
[Slowly, warily, she approached the locker. As though sensing her nearing presence, the banging became louder and more violent. Adamant. Biting her lip, Heather reached out with a bandaged hand... and opened the locker.]
--AAAUGH!
[The laundry basket went clanging to the floor as Heather fell backwards, knocked onto the damp, gritty floor as whatever was in the locker came lunging out at her like a desperate predator, barreling its warm weight into her chest and knocking her off-balance. Cujo erupted into a frenzy of barking and whimpering, knocking over the laundry bin as he turned in alarmed circles.]
[Heather thrashed on the floor, throwing the attacker off in the process and struggling to sit up defensively, teeth bared.]
I-- GET OFF! I'LL-- You-- .... uh. .... Huh?
[The attacker wagged its little cinnamon-bun of a tail, the speaker on its headphones giving out a cheery little crackle of static.]
ARF!
>8( that stuff goes straight to your hips, man. what were you thinking
[Right now, her priority is to get away, and THEN she can worry about finding something volatile enough to take this thing out.]
[She reaches the top of the shelf in record time-- this girl can climb like a monkey-- and wrenches the cheap, styrofoamy tile out of place.]
[And right about at that point, Tank promptly accidentally the entire set of shelves she's standing on (... okay, actually, it was most definitely on purpose). Letting out a shriek, Heather makes a frantic grab for the edge of the new hole in the ceiling and finds herself dangling pretty stupidly in midair.]
[WELL. THIS WAS JUST FANTASTIC.]
[She's not about to let herself STAY there, though-- so she's scrambling to haul herself upwards into the hole and hoping to dear god that this thing is stupid enough to suffer a moment of confusion at the sight of his prey STANDING ON AIR, HOLY FUCK, WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE.]
i really really really likes my butterbeer ):
[so at the moment, Tank doesn't really have much to do except ROID RAGE and basically destroy the entire floor. boy is Heather's manager going to be pissed.]
>8( bad Hagrid. /spritzes with a water bottle
[UNLUCKILY.... yes. Her manager is going to be pissed. Her manager is going to be SO pissed. Heather is probably going to get fired by the end of today. Good thing nobody's gonna remember this stuff really happened. But HEATHER DOESN'T KNOW THAT-- so all she can do is dangle and clamber up into the gap, and then watch in horror and despair as Tank reduces everything in the room to brightly-colored rubble.]
..... I am SO fucked...
ARRRGHHHGHAG
[maybe if Heather hurries, she can clean the mess before her manager arrives?!]
NOW GO STAND IN THE CORNER
[She just... watches the destruction, and watches this strange and incredibly unattractive creature just sort of... fail onto the floor.]
[A beat]
[... Hell no, she's not cleaning this up. Heather scoots around and just crawls off through the vent. Fuck that, she's going to pretend she was SOMEWHERE ELSE when the manager comes in.]
[Heather is the best employee ever~]