foolishwren | 89. [Video/Action for travel group]

Current Location: Route 38

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89. [Video/Action for travel group]

_{[A short while after the singing wild Pokemon and egg presents had died down, a rather unfortunate discovery was made upon dialing a number she'd been meaning to dial ever since Claudia Wolf and Kaito Kuroba had disappeared from Johto.]

[Already on the road, the weather's mild enough (even with the wind picking up) that Heather decided that was pretty much a good time to pocket her Valentine's Day present and just head off for a walk. Because lord knows, she needs one.]

[It's not the first time Johto has given everyone the gift of a precious little egg, but it is the first time that Heather's found herself resenting it.]

[The video feed pops on, focused in on a tiny, pale yellow little egg hardly bigger than a chicken's, nestled in the palm of Heather's hand as dry grass goes past underfoot.]}

It would be so easy to just... crush it.

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Exactly.

Nothing will change things.

Why shouldn't I? It won't change a THING!

Everybody's gonna get taken away eventually! You, Liquid... it won't even matter! So why should I even try!

_{[She doesn't even believe what she's saying, not really... but everything just hurts so much right now.]}

Heather. Please, just listen to me.

[Otacon's voice remained steady, even faced with Heather lashing out at him. She was hurt--by what, he didn't know--but he knew she was hurt all the same. So he didn't take her anger personally...in fact, it reminded him of someone else.]

['...I wanted to hurt you...! I wanted to see you suffer...!']

I know how you feel. Even if that's the standard cliche in a situation like this, you know that I understand. I've lost my father, my sister, and nearly everyone else I've loved. And I would be lying if I said there was never a time I wanted to just give up.

['You don't hate me?'

'Never... I never wanted to get in your way. I never wanted to hurt you. I thought with Arsenal...if I followed in your footsteps, I could be closer...']

But you're my family. And no matter what happens, no matter who or what tries to stop me or separate us, I'm never leaving my family again. Not for five years or five minutes.

_{[Otacon...]

[As he speaks, her face crumples-- in her palm, she's squeezing the egg, but thankfully it is pretty sturdy, despite her claims to the contrary. It's her voice that cracks, when she finally speaks, anyway.]}

But that's the thing, Hal, it doesn't matter what we say or promise or WANT to do! I could tell you that I'll never leave, and fuck, as far as I'm concerned, it's TRUE, but then I might wind up going home half an hour later and it wouldn't MATTER!

We don't have a choice!

...fine, maybe we can't control it. But if we were back home I could say the same thing. One of us could get shot or run over by a giant mecha or just drop dead at any minute. So...shouldn't we just make the time we do have worth it in the end?

People die, and in this case people disappear. But death is not defeat. No matter who we lose, we'll all still be together. And even if you and I have lost everything and everyone...we won't forget them. It'll hurt, I know, but...we'll always remember them.

That's what I've been trying. Been trying to do.

I've been trying not to take things for granted, and-- and I still didn't get around to saying everything I wanted to...!

_{[Big bro did you know Heather was totally starting to fall for one of her friends? Because she figured it out and then she didn't do anything about it.]}

[Join the club. Actually, it's probably his repeated experience with the subject that gave Otacon the ability to begin to guess just what could have happened.]

...that happens more often than you think. But it's not your fault--it's not really anyone's fault, and having no one to blame just makes it harder.

No, I think it happens EXACTLY as often as I think. Which is all the time. And I can't-- I don't know how to FIX it.

If there WAS someone to blame, this wouldn't even be HAPPENING because I'd-- I'd go and I'd rip their damn head off!

I know. Honestly, Heather, I know what it's like to feel like everyone leaves you behind. And I wish I knew how to help or how to make it stop hurting, but...but I can't.

Because it doesn't stop. It just gets a little better over time.

... I know... I know it doesn't stop.

But here-- this... it's supposed to happen slowly. Or for REASONS. Or... somehow in a way that-- they're not supposed to just disappear.

That only happens HERE.

I thought I was used to it. I thought I'd... I thought-- but I'm NOT.

I'm just an IDIOT.

You're not an idiot, Heather. You're upset and you have every right to be. This isn't something you just get used to, no matter how often it happens.

And...the truth is, as long as we're talking about this...there's something I haven't told you or even Liquid. Especially not Liquid.

While I was back home, it...happened again. I fell in love with someone else, and she ended up dying. I can't say that I know the exact reasons, but it just...feels like it came out of nowhere. And even though I thought I had gotten used to it and I thought maybe it wouldn't happen again, it just-...

What I'm getting at is that this isn't something you ever get used to. But it doesn't make you an idiot for thinking you could.

_{[She has the decency to fall silent when he starts talking... and even despite her grief and rage, her eyes still widen in surprise when he makes his confession.]}

... I ... I didn't know.

Not your fault. No one did, until now.

What I'm trying to get at is...there's nothing we can do about it, and it's really not fair. But just because it feels like we're alone doesn't mean we are.

... No.

We just will be.

That's not true. People come and go one way or another, that's how the world works. For every separation no matter how painful, you'll be sure to meet someone new.

_{[She knows that's how it is... hell, to be honest, deep down she wouldn't WANT it any other way. After all, she's the one who once said 'Suffering is a part of life. Either you learn to deal with it, or you go under'. She still knows that. Still believes that.]

[But right now it just seems to unbelievably painful.]

[She doesn't say anything.]}

...believe me, I know how much it hurts. But even if it won't last forever, if nothing else you've got me and Liquid right now. And right now we aren't going anywhere.

_{[She wishes she could believe that... She wishes she could believe that very badly.]}

... I'm sorry I didn't hang out with you guys more. While I was in town.

It's alright. Or at least, it's going to be alright.

Where are you going next?

I don't know. I'm a little tired of moving around all the time, but I bet Liquid will probably start blowing things up if we don't.

... Probably be the most exciting thing that'll have happened in that town in the past hundred years.

I don't need him sneaking to the roof of that tower and reciting Shakespeare and I don't think anyone else wants that either.

... Well, it'd be entertaining, at least?

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89. [Video/Action for travel group]

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