95. [Video/Action for Ecruteak] Slightly backdated, early afternoon on the 15th

[foolishwren]

_{[Before anything else, Heather's voice: a little husky and hoarse-sounding, but otherwise high-spirited.]}

Hey.

Hey guys.

Watch this.

<sub>[Is she aware of the strange outbreaks and Team Rocket threats all over the news? Yes. Yes, she is. Should she be spending her time being concerned about this? Probably.]

[But she has much better things to do with her time.]

[Like film Wren the Murkrow skittering across the top of the coffee table in their Ecruteak Inn room with a tiny plastic battleaxe toy in her beak, where she proceeds to bull over a GeoDude (tm) superhero action figure with a viciousness appropriate for the battlefield. Which is what is being broadcast, of course.]

[What follows is a series of cuts showing her triumph over various other toys (pretty obviously grabbed from a discount bin in some shop somewhere), including Armaldo Schwarzenegger and Darmanitanman ("The Meditation Sensation!") and even a figurine of Barnaby the Shiny Charizard.]

[In several of the shots, Heather's other Pokemon are visible-- Arty the Furret looking on in contempt and Cheryl the Eevee watching in utter fascination over the edge of the table. At one point, the fuzzy baby Joltik she'd hatched a few months back skitters onto the scene, eager to help, but is promptly chased off the table again by the axe-wielding Murkrow, who apparently is a Lone Warrior who needs no assistance.]

[The whole time, Heather is humming ominous theme-music and jiggling the camera in that classic 'found footage' way.]

[Eventually she turns the camera on herself to address the surely-enthralled audience solemnly. Her face is oddly flushed, strangely... although perhaps not, given the summer heat.]</sub>

This has been a Public Services Announcement: my bird is an unstoppable killing machine. Nowhere is safe.

Keep your children in at ni-- oh noooo.

<sub>[As though on cue, the vaguely football-shaped black bird had come wriggling onto the screen again, clambering up Heather's arm to determinedly butt the side of her face with the toy axe. >:(!!!!]

[There's some 'fighting' and then the camera goes blank.]


[END FEED]</sub>



[ACTION]

<sub>[With Wren successfully wrestled off into doing something else, Heather shuts the 'Gear and sets it aside, slumping back in her chair with a sigh. Even in shorts and the skimpiest top she owns, it's miserably hot. Enough to sort of make her head pound. She doesn't get it. She remembers the fading summer heat last September being pretty well-managed by all the whirring fans in the Inn...]

[Twisting around, she drapes herself over the back of the chair, poking her tongue out discontently.]</sub>


Guys.

Guuuuuys.

Aren't you just dying in here? This heat is gross.

<sub>[The TV's on over in the corner. They're talking about the outbreak-- about all the people coming down with mysterious fevers.]

[But that's somewhere else. It can't touch any of them. .... Right?]</sub>

Comments

[video]

[aidolmaster]

Even against killer birds, I can't give in and stay indoors!!

[video]

[foolishwren]

You sure about that?

She can sense stubbornness. She goes after those first.

[action]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry, who practically lived in his Torkoal hoodie and a long sleeved shirt, looks up from poking through his scrap book.]}

Not really?

[action]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[What.]

[Grimacing at the way she's STICKING to everything, she lets her head loll and shoots Henry a baffled, slightly irritated look.]</sub>

Uh, really.

Dude, how can you STAND being in that thing? It's making me sweat just looking at you.

[audio]

[shadowdive]

[Okay, that, he has to laugh at.]

[audio]

[foolishwren]

Careful.

If she senses the vibrations of mockery, she'll zero in on them and hunt the cause of them down.

[video]

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy is honestly looking pretty terrible, and it looks like he's curled up in a chair. But you know, this is actually pretty funny and he really needed the laugh.]

How will anyone stop such a terrible beast?

[video]

[foolishwren]

They can't, man.

Humanity is doomed.

Game over.



... Hey, you okay, dude?

[video]

[usedsuitup]

You saw it here first folks.

Truly. No one is safe.

[video]

[foolishwren]

_{[... Okay. She's still KINDA mad at him for that whole thing back in February. ... But it's been awhile.]}

No one.

Doesn't matter who you are.

She will find you.

[Action]

[show_my_cannons]

[Knock, knock, Heather. Someone saw that little show on the 'gear and has decided you need to be checked in on.]

[So open up :| ]

[Action]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Henry is busy being a bum with his stupid scrapbook stickers, so Heather takes it upon herself to answer the door, figuring that maybe Dad had forgotten his room key or something.]

[... And then instead of Harry standing there with a sheepish expression, she's met with a GIANT EXPANSE OF GRUMPY OLD MAN.]</sub>

--Ironhide!

_{[Are you ready for a hug, Ironhide? YOU'D BETTER BE READY FOR A HUG. Because you're getting one.]}

[video]

[vulpesvivus]

[Here is one Otacon minus his glasses. And he's laughing, despite the fact that he looks like death warmed over. And he's still got an obviously bandaged head wound. Oops.]

Looks like you've got a real Raging Raven on your hands.

[But hey, it is always time for bad jokes.]

[video]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[... Otacon, does she have to forbid you from being alone or something?]

[He's off the hook for the moment, but only for a moment. She'll be asking him what the hell happened later.]</sub>

Raging Raven... I like that! Maybe I should've named her that instead.

[video]

[used_fireblast]

[Harry's feed is pretty staticky today. Probably just because of the heat. Or something.]

Heh. Al-- Hitchcock would be pr--

[Totally not laughing or anything. Murkrow the Destroyer is a force to be feared and respected.]

[video]

[foolishwren]

_{[Erk. Static. Heather hates the sound of it even on the best of days. She taps the 'Gear's speakers a couple of times in hopes that the fuzzy sounds will stop, but gives up once it's clear they won't. Oh well.]}

Right?

I just need someone to follow her around and shriek on a violin and I'll be all set.

Action

[haveyouseenalittlegirl]

[Harry looks over.]

Not really.

Are you feeling alright Heather?

Action

[foolishwren]

Seriously? You too?

<sub>[ARGH GUYS WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. 8(]

[She lets her arms hang off the back of the chair.]</sub>

I'm fine, it's just hot.

[video]

[fairycircle]

Nowhere is safe? [She can play along, it's kind of funny. Only because it's just some toys being broken; Cheria does have to look a little concerned when the bird climbs up and swats at her trainer.]

[video]

[foolishwren]

Nowhere.

_{[She says this solemnly as Wren tugs fruitlessly on one of her ears. She is... very clearly used to this.]}

[action]

[darkenedgales]

Oh no. We're all doomed. Whatever are we gonna do now.

[And here's Crow, delivering the above lines with all the passion of still life art piece, his own Murkrow perched on his shoulder. The past few days -- Centers being destroyed, Team Rocket attacks, some weird epidemic going around -- have left the duelist rather restless and agitated, so as much as relaxing and funny watching Wren murder the toys is, he can't really muster much enthusiasm to begin with.

In answer to the question, though, he just shrugs.]

Been worse. Can't say it's really nice, but it's pretty much Standard Johto Summer Weather.

[He tilts his head a bit, watching her curiously.]

... You okay? You don't look so hot...

[action]

[foolishwren]

Just lie around and accept our fates, I guess.

_{[She deposits Wren onto the table, where she waddles off to make sure the Tropius toy she killed earlier is really dead. Then Heather turns to Crow, wrinkling her nose.]}

Yeah, it's standard summer weather, but... UGH, I dunno. It's so stuffy in here.

_{[... And then she snorts.]}

Actually, I'm like, the exact opposite of 'not so hot' right now...

[video]

[quickattackjack]

What a horrible monster you've got! Scarier than anything I've got back home.

[video]

[foolishwren]

You bet.

Just imagine what it was like to witness all that carnage in person, like I did.

I'll never sleep again.

[audio]

[newberktown]

[It's refreshing, to see Heather goofing off despite all the chaos. Refreshing and also comforting. Something in the world can be normal.]

T-terrifying. She'd fit right-t in on Berk.

[audio]

[foolishwren]

_{[Hey, it's a rough job, but somebody's gotta do it. Although her carefree manner may wane a bit when she realizes what's happening to her...]}

With all the dragons, you mean? Yeah, bet she'd have 'em running for their mommies.

_{[She pauses a little, though. Are his... teeth chattering?]}

... You in Ice Tunnel or something, dude?

[action]

[bakaitoukid]

[Kaito was just about as restless as anyone else was during this entire ordeal... but much like Crow, watching something silly and mundane was helping take the edge off of that anxiety, and the thief pulls up a genuinely amused grin as he wags one eyebrow at Wren's trainer, snrking lightly]

Better call all of the Officer Jennies you can, Johto needs to start preparing for the inevitable Wren invasion.

[He links his hands behind his head and leans back in his chair, peering at Heather curiously]

I dunno, I don't think it's too bad. D'you wanna go get some ice cream? That might help.

[action]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Heather's usually pretty good at doing that. It helps, admittedly, that despite being aware of what's been happening, she's convinced that it won't touch THEM. It's not like the Shedinja thing last year! Just avoid the sick people and the buildings that keep getting blown up by Team Rocket and you're fine! ... Right?]

[She lifts her head from where she'd let it rest against the cool surface of the table.]</sub>

It won't do any good. Wren leaves no survivors. Also, ice cream sounds great.

_{[If the AC didn't do the trick, ice cream had to.]}