foolishwren | 95. [Video/Action for Ecruteak] Slightly backdated, early afternoon on the 15th

_{[Before anything else, Heather's voice: a little husky and hoarse-sounding, but otherwise high-spirited.]}

Hey.

Hey guys.

Watch this.

_{[Is she aware of the strange outbreaks and Team Rocket threats all over the news? Yes. Yes, she is. Should she be spending her time being concerned about this? Probably.]

[But she has much better things to do with her time.]

[Like film Wren the Murkrow skittering across the top of the coffee table in their Ecruteak Inn room with a tiny plastic battleaxe toy in her beak, where she proceeds to bull over a GeoDude (tm) superhero action figure with a viciousness appropriate for the battlefield. Which is what is being broadcast, of course.]

[What follows is a series of cuts showing her triumph over various other toys (pretty obviously grabbed from a discount bin in some shop somewhere), including Armaldo Schwarzenegger and Darmanitanman ("The Meditation Sensation!") and even a figurine of Barnaby the Shiny Charizard.]

[In several of the shots, Heather's other Pokemon are visible-- Arty the Furret looking on in contempt and Cheryl the Eevee watching in utter fascination over the edge of the table. At one point, the fuzzy baby Joltik she'd hatched a few months back skitters onto the scene, eager to help, but is promptly chased off the table again by the axe-wielding Murkrow, who apparently is a Lone Warrior who needs no assistance.]

[The whole time, Heather is humming ominous theme-music and jiggling the camera in that classic 'found footage' way.]

[Eventually she turns the camera on herself to address the surely-enthralled audience solemnly. Her face is oddly flushed, strangely... although perhaps not, given the summer heat.]}

This has been a Public Services Announcement: my bird is an unstoppable killing machine. Nowhere is safe.

Keep your children in at ni-- oh noooo.

_{[As though on cue, the vaguely football-shaped black bird had come wriggling onto the screen again, clambering up Heather's arm to determinedly butt the side of her face with the toy axe. >:(!!!!]

[There's some 'fighting' and then the camera goes blank.]

[END FEED]}

[ACTION]

_{[With Wren successfully wrestled off into doing something else, Heather shuts the 'Gear and sets it aside, slumping back in her chair with a sigh. Even in shorts and the skimpiest top she owns, it's miserably hot. Enough to sort of make her head pound. She doesn't get it. She remembers the fading summer heat last September being pretty well-managed by all the whirring fans in the Inn...]

[Twisting around, she drapes herself over the back of the chair, poking her tongue out discontently.]}

Guys.

Guuuuuys.

Aren't you just dying in here? This heat is gross.

_{[The TV's on over in the corner. They're talking about the outbreak-- about all the people coming down with mysterious fevers.]

[But that's somewhere else. It can't touch any of them. .... Right?]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[At the mention of the water attacks, a scaly red-crested head pokes in from the door to the balcony. 8U!]}

Um, excuse you, Hydro Pump can blast through walls.

I'm hot, not suicidal.

_{[.... 8( Looking disappointed, Godzilla withdraws his head again.]}

[You say that like you think he doesn't know that already. Crow just shrugs with a smile.]

Maybe it's a better way to go than dying of heat.

[A beat.]

... Or, y'know, meeting your end from her wings.

[He points to Wren cautiously.]

_{[Heather merely lets out a groan and oozes back down to lean on the table again. 8( IT'S SO HOT.]}

I just don't get how you guys aren't totally dead.

Or what the hell happened to the air conditioning here since last summer. I mean, damn.

Easy.

[Crow flops down on a chair next to Heather, looking as smug as only possible. ~~Not that it isn't his default.~~]

We're tough.

Implying I'm not?

_{[Making an ugly face, she tosses one of the toys Wren had been mauling earlier at him.]}

[The toy hits his shoulder and he lets out a small yelp of pain, but that doesn't stop him from grinning like an idiot and snickering.]

You said that!

You implied it.

Only 'cause you keep whining.

[And it's not even bad enough to whine, so...]

Hey, if you don't shut your face, it's gonna cease to be whining and become my-hand-in-your-facing.

[He lets out a chocked (and overly dramatic) gasp.]

Oh no! Threats of violence! In that case, my lips are sealed.

[He moves his fingers across his lips to prove his point, though he still can't help but chuckle a bit at the ridiculousness of his own act.]

_{[Heather isn't exactly in the greatest mood to be teased, although fortunately for Crow, overheated Heathers are also lazy Heathers. Rather that getting up and coming over to noogie him or something, she just reaches out to grab another toy and throw it at him.]}

[That kind of response -- or lack thereof -- causes Crow to grow a little more curious, if not openly concerned, about Heather's condition. He tilts his head a bit, watching her carefully.]

... It's serious.

[He does make sure he's ready to dodge the toy that is sure to fly in his direction in a moment, though.]

_{[>8(]

[She reaches out to grab another toy. ... But it's too far across the table.]

[... Cue a slow, snail-like ooze across the tabletop as she tries to reach the toy while moving as little as possible.]}

[This is bad. Very bad. And if Crow looked curious before, now he's plain worried. Under normal circumstances, he probably wouldn't think much of that, but with people falling ill right and left, her not bothering to stand up and smack him across the head seems like a dangerous symptom.]

Heather, if you don't say something, I'll assume you're dead and just convulsing.

I'm trying to get to my weapon of mass destruction so that I can throw it at you and hit you in your dumb orange head.

_{[She says this without lifting her head.]}

[... Well, that's something.]

Oh. 'Kay.

[Crow leans forward, supporting his head with his hands, and continues to watch her struggle to reach the toy.]

Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere.

_{[Fiiiiinally she reaches the toy.]

[And chucks it in Crow's direction.]

[It misses by several feet.]}

....

_{[UGH NEVER MIND. She sags onto the table. B(]}

... Close enough.

[Not at all, but he's trying to be. Um. NICE?]

Want me to move closer?

[Like... three inches away from you should do it.]

_{[She lets out a dismissive groan.]}

You're off the hook this time.

Guess it's my lucky day!

[But hey, enough mocking you.]

You really do look like shit, though. Want something to drink?

That'd be awesome, actually. If there's any ice left in that bag Dad got from the kitchen, that'd be great too.

95. [Video/Action for Ecruteak] Slightly backdated, early afternoon on the 15th

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