foolishwren | 101. [Text] (backdated to the 23rd)

okay listen up you weedles, I was going through a bunch of old photos stored on this thing and found this one I forgot about from like idk a few months ago or maybe a year or something

it's starter appreciation day so it seemed appropriate to just say a few words or something about that ugly orange thing in the picture with me

okay so first of all
i hate dogs
like
i fuckin HATE them, okay. I always have
I also hate FIRE
Fire and dogs are basically like the top two things on my hate list
so when you take that into account, Cujo the Growlithe is essentially an overlapping circle graph of everything i hate



needless to say, when they gave me HIM on top of all the interdimensional kidnapping and shit it basically felt like this:



except he was some kinda huge mutation or something 
so
i mean
really




like seriously let's take a look at this majestic animal



unlike that other picture, nothing in this one is an exaggeration everything you see is the bare naked truth, like speaking of naked i have no idea how he loses so much hair (on me) every single day and yet still looks like the unholy baby of a tiger and a dusty bunny that lives on the cutting-room floor of a Muppet movie

so yea what I'm trying to say is that i was SUPER DUPER THRILLED at being told i was going to have to go on a magical adventure with this thing. like it'd be one thing if he minded his own business and stayed away from me but



what made it even worse is the fact that i am pretty sure this dog has like two fucking brain cells, i don't think dogs are supposed to be like this



anyway i would draw more of the retarded stuff he does but i think you get the general idea. he is basically the stupidest thing on the planet

so it probably goes without saying that for a long time i basically hated him. he was always up in my space and as i said before, i fuckin hate dogs. his hair got all over my clothes. he was heavy and knocked me down and chewed on my shoes and constantly ran away and got me in trouble because he knocked OTHER people down and chewed on THEIR shoes and to top it all off he'd light things on fucking fire



so what you're all probably thinking is, wow, she clearly hates this poor animal, so was that picture at the beginning photoshopped at something

i'm not even actually sure if they have photoshop here but the answer is NO

you see, after a few months of just generally trying to ignore him, some shit happened and i learned something
despite the colossal asshole i'd been, he stuck with me and protected me anyway. like seriously i was pretty much the most gigantic douchenozzle towards him but he was basically too stupid and nice to care, and things like that deserve someone who actually treats them decent

because seriously i probably would have died if it weren't for him

so yeah uh three years later, here we are

love ya, you stupid stinky dog




_.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

What? It's true!

[He snickers at her reaction, although misses the flush altogether.]

So 's your art. Your works should be hanging next to Pikasso's ones in some gallery!

Well, dogs are dogs. Personally, I'm pretty sure most dogs are stupid. I guess at least it's good to know mine isn't alone in his dumbness.

gotcha

a weasel, huh? is it a furret?

... or that fire one?

Oh. Well, I was just bein' honest.

I have to admit, the brilliant depiction of everything going up in flames was stunningly realistic.

Shut up! _{[She'd huff, but that always just seems to look pouty and prove peoples' points, so she refrains.]}

Anyway, I was bored and found the PS Paint option on the 'Gear. S'no big deal.

A fantastic story. Bravo. I have to admit, I am endlessly amused and quite impressed with how willing you are to reform and change. You may not like the habits he has, but you are willing to work with him and still give him an endless amount of patience. You also don't immediately leave him for the next, best, shiny thing. That's quite a rare quality to have. Especially for someone that was so dissatisfied with the cards she was dealt out. But, aren't we all. At first, anyways [ We interrupt this cute loving post to bring you philosophical bullshit! ]

[Crow just laughs. Yeah, he'll just consider his point proven and leave it at that... for now.]

Dunno, those looks pretty cool to me. Kinda like what my kids usually draw.

[You were so proud, it was adorable.]

[Sits down next to her.]

And what have the responses been so far? Any offers from gallery's yet?

that fiire one.
mo2t people call iit a typhlo2iion.

yeah i guess it is pretty cool

I mean shit, technically I think Cujo's been friends with me longer than anyone else has in my life

or at least been a friend in direct contact with me longer than any of the others, anyway

_{[Obviously Douglas has the edge on people, still being her friend and all, but he's not here.]}

What, you want me to think your dog is a rodent?

of course not! he's too big to be a rodent

i'm just SAYING...

Rodents can be big. Sort of.

Saying what?

_{[OH HELLO THERE.]

[Lust's praise and analyzation has always somewhat confused Heather, but it's tough to argue with a compliment to your character.]}

well I mean...

it's not like i had much of a choice.

if I just dug my heels in and refused to have anything to do with him i probably wouldn't have gotten very far...

i fixed it

Shit, good luck with thlasdeiadkldjkdskkjkdjjjjjj

[the screen comes on to a blur of motion as the phone is yanked back and forth. There's growling from two different directions.] -go of that, goddammit!

[When the camera steadies, it's in a Snubbull's paws. She's yanked it away so she can show off the pretty bow tied around her ear.]

[Blake is in the background muttering] Fucking dog.

_{[She'll never give in. >:c]}

Oh, so you're saying I have the artistic ability of a little kid now?

Oh yeah, pretty much all of them.

I think I'd rather be an independent artist, though.

ohhhh.

_{[She actually has to pause and look that one up, because she hasn't encountered the Cyndaquil line before.]}

... whoa, they look huge

[Sigh.] Yeah. You'd think for such a fierce looking thing...

Dooooom! [HEY LADY HEY HEY HEY LADY.]

well it's oddly sentimental of you
saying I oughta like Cooj more


not that that's a BAD thing...

_{[It's sweet, actually.]}

[Jade still looks a bit amused when she first turns on her video feed to answer this because oh my god, those descriptions and that art. Also, if Heather looks closely, she'll probably be able to see Bec, Jade's own giant puppy starter, in the background.]

This is really sweet. It's great that you came to love your starter so much!

...

Just. Forget I said it. If you are going to make a big deal of it.

[Makes two of them. c:

... And yes, that is precisely what he's implying.]

Why not? I'll have ya know they're some great artists!

[For real.]

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101. [Text] (backdated to the 23rd)

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