114. Fourth Wall Post [VIDEO/ACTION FOR ANYWHERE]

[foolishwren]

.... Yeah.

Yeah, you're in the complete wrong region.

Mount Moon's in Kanto.

_{[Heather huffs out a sigh and takes hold of Cujo's mane as the wayward Grey and his weird spacedog head back to their spaceship, which had landed conveniently on top of one of the Pokemon Centers, barely even remarkable in the middle of all the other chaos that's happening.]}

Man, at this point, the only thing that could surprise me on weekends like this are things staying normal.

Comments

[foolishwren]

Like your weird cat doesn't already do that twice a day.

_{[But she does let go of his ears, reaching up to scratch the side of her face contemplatively.]}

I wonder if this is anything like that thing a few years ago. When everybody got hit with Legendary Pokemon steroids in the air or something.

[no_ufo_ending]

Burger would never do that. Burger's perfect.

_{[Once his ears are returned to them, Henry pats at them a little protectivly before walking over to where his sleeping bag is piled. To keep himself busy he starts trying to put on socks because it has occurred to him that he is in fact naked.]}

Eugh, do I...

_{[Crispy Heather had freaked him out something awful.]}

[foolishwren]

_{[Because socks will definitely remove the problem elements of nudity, Henry. Definitely.]}

No, Burger is gross. The sooner you accept that, the better off humanity is.

_{[Crouching down next to him, she looks him over again.]}

... On second thought, I don't think so. That thing was less like I was turning into a Pokemon and more like I was turning into... I dunno, an X-Man or something.

[no_ufo_ending]

<sub>[The Leafeon nods. That was true and Heather's deal had gone much, much slower and had followed some strangeness. But this? This was out of the blue unless--]

[His ears stand all the way up and he turns to look toward the window before bounding over it. There is a loud, resounding TOOT TOOT as a bright yellow schoolbus with eyes whizzes past.]</sub>

...Oh.

[foolishwren]

_{[.... Yeah. OH.]}

... Well, that explains it.

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry holds his little yellow face in his paws.]}

I want to go back to bed...

[foolishwren]

Look on the bright side.

In a few days, you probably won't remember this at all.

[no_ufo_ending]

I guess so...

_{[Henry hops down from the window and skulks over to his sleepingbag where he wriggles inside of it all the way to the end and settles like a lump.]}

I'm not here.

[foolishwren]

C'mon, Henry. If you stay in bed it'll probably come to life or something.

You know these weekends are some Yellow Submarine shit.

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[The lump didn't move.]}

I'm not here.


<sub>[Suddenly an enormous black hole lined with runes etched in blood opens beneath the sleeping bag and corner of the bed. The bag and pokemon disappear and the bed tips upwards and falls part of the way in]

[Another hole opens in the ceiling and dumps the bag out on the other end of the room near the door. Henry nearly breaks his neck scrambling out of the bag. He bristles, tail and ears up.]</sub>

What the hell. No, no, not again! Every time it's the same thing over and over!

[foolishwren]

<sub>[It happens so quickly there's barely time to even react, much less DO anything about it.]

[So all Heather can do is watch as Henry gets unceremoniously Portal'd across the room.]</sub>

.... Told you.

Yellow submarine shit.

_{[Except the hole had escaped the pocket and gotten some tattoos and a mind of its own.]}

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry bounds across the hole on the floor and clings to Heather's foot, his fur standing on end and his leaves rustling like a forest in a hurricane.]}

Everything is terrible.

[foolishwren]

Wh-- hey, don't cling to me.

I don't wanna fall through a hole!

_{[Sorry Henry she's willing to do a lot for you but getting sucked into a bunch of portable holes isn't one of them.]}

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[He lets go and starts pacing. She was right. He had to get away! He had to keep running or the holes would just get bigger and bigger. He looks across the hole still trying to eat the bed]}

Get Sunny. We've got to go out the window.

[foolishwren]

Okay. Okay, FINE.

Give me a second. And let go of me.

_{[SHE CAN'T GRAB HER STUFF WITH A LEAFEON ATTACHED TO HER.]}

[no_ufo_ending]

No.

_{[The pokemon doesn't budge. Heather is just going to have to deal with a stupid furry boot for the next five minutes.]}

[foolishwren]

... UGH.

_{[With that she proceeds to tromp around grabbing basic supplies (and avoiding the hole that is attempting to eat the bed). If they're going to be staying away from the hotel room for three days-- and possibly warping all over kingdom come-- she wants to at least have some granola bars on hand.]}

For crying out loud...

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[As an after thought, he digs his claws in. The closer they get to the hole, the more his ears and tail sort of tug in its direction. It's pulling Henry. He is the receiver.]}

I just...hope that Bidoof doesn't show up.

[foolishwren]

<sub>[She is not going to comment on his blunt little Leafeon claws gouging into her leg. >8I SHE IS NOT.]

[Once she has her pack in order, she throws the door open and storms right out. Doesn't bother locking it. You'd think these weekends would be rife with looting but everybody is probably too busy avoiding being run down by the Magic Schoolbus or something to think about stealing shit.]</sub>

Bidoof?

Th'hell are you talking about?

[no_ufo_ending]

When Envy and I were lost in the woods...things were glitched. There were these terrible pokemon that had parts made of floating, flashing squares...

And there was a Bidoof with an upside down face.

Heather, it was PokeSatan.

[foolishwren]

... Oh.

_{[Oh, okay, that DID sound freaking creepy.]}

... Well, there's no guarantees, you know.

We could literally run into Nicolas Cage stealing the Declaration of Independence around the corner.

That's how these things work.

[no_ufo_ending]

I would HELP Nicolas Cage steal the Declaration of Independence if it meant that Bidoof wouldn't show up!

_{[He starts to climb Heather.]}

[foolishwren]

Well, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't help, but if we run into ol' St. Nic, you have my blessing to serve your country.

_{[It's hard to walk while a foxplantcat is LITERALLY CRAWLING UP HER LEG, so she reaches down and snatches him up, tucking him under one arm instead.]}

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry's little claws come away with a popping sound and he hangs limp in the crook of her arm like a sad football.]}

I wish I could hide in a pokeball until this is all over.

[foolishwren]

_{[... Heather stops. Because that gives her an idea.]}

... Well... you are a Pokemon...